Time For Disposal-Pressed For Time Chapter 3

Time For Disposal

Pressed For Time

I was brought to one of the conference rooms with just my soaking wet disposable diaper with four layers of cloth pre-fold diapers on underneath the disposable, and then I was put into one of the crib-like beds with a locking top before the whole counsel of government employees came in and began to fill their seats at the long tables. The crib-like bed I was put in, was in the center of all of the tables . Each of the long folding tables surrounded my crib-like bed that was made out of stainless steel bars. The gathering of these important people was to determine what was going to happen to me while I was there at this new hidden camp. Once everyone had filed in and the meeting came to order, the head of the camp began to consult with all of those who had contact with me in the last 12 to 24 hours, excluding the trash collectors.  “Ok, new business, I see that we have a new disabled subject. Who is the case worker and who is the subject’s caregiver?” Asked the head Director.  “Uh um! I am sir, I am the subject’s caseworker…I have his newly started file. He was collected from a home where his parents were ordered to dispose of him because he has too many health problems and they can’t afford to keep him any longer. He is costing the state over $3,000 in just disposable diapering products each year! Why he was on Social Security benefits at one point, until the Government cut all benefits and we started this program. He was promptly diapered, then put into one of the diaper pails and left for disposal and then the maid was instructed to bring the subject out to the trash truck where he was loaded and compacted and then brought here to the landfill and then dumped out in our designated area. Since he has been here, he has sat in the pile he was dumped out in until last night when he was fished out and then brought to the family center. He has not been changed since arriving here. Would you like his caregiver to change him into a drier diaper?” Asked and stated the caseworker. “You can do whatever you wish to him once we are done with him. Can this subject stand on his own for more than 1 minute? Can the subject walk more than 300 feet? Can the subject dress himself? Asked the Director to the caseworker and the caregiver. “Well, so far, the subject hasn’t been able to walk very far due to his back being out and his legs are too weak to carry his own weight now that he hasn’t done much walking and has been bedridden before he was disposed of, according to the mother’s report. He has to be kept in that crib-like bed thing with the lid on it unless you instruct us to move him and then we will need to use a large stroller for that.” Stated the caregiver to the Director.  “I will keep that in mind…for now, I have enough to make my recommendations. For the next two weeks, he will be fed by hand, dressed and have his diapers changed by you and during the two weeks, he will be made available for anyone wishing to use him in any of their work tasks, regardless of what they are, as long as he makes it out alive in the end. Anyone who wants to use the subject in a way that will compromise his life, is not acceptable until he shows signs that he is deteriorating to the point that he won’t make it. At this point, the subject WILL….be taken out to the staff training building and left with them so that they can use him one more time as a disposal practice subject. If he makes it through that, he will be taken over to where the dirty diapers are being disposed of and left where the loads of diapers are dumped out from the trash truck, that was used to train the new trash men and women. You may choose to change him before he gets put into the truck, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Stated the Director voicing his recommendations.  “Just make sure that he gets plenty of diaper changes and if anyone uses the subject, make sure that they bring him back with a clean, or at least dry diaper on. I recommend using a combination of cloth pre-fold diapers underneath a disposable diaper. That way, we can save time and some money on diapers and still keep the subject as dry as possible. If the disposable diapers are dry enough to reuse at changing time, just change the cloth diapers and reuse the disposable diaper. If and when necessary, the use of mild sedatives is also approved for use under approved circumstances.” Also stated the Director as he read the recommendations to the caseworker and the caregiver. He then gave his original copy to his assistant to go and make copies for the caseworker and the caregiver so that they had copies of their own to follow. As the caseworker and the caregiver came over to the crib-like bed I was in to get me out, the Director then added; “ Get that boy some dry diapers put on him! They don’t have to be clean diapers, but dry ones….then put him to bed for a nap before supper.” Ordered the Director to the caregiver. “Yes sir….right away.” Retorted the caregiver as she opened the top and lowered the side of the crib-like bed. Then the caregiver helped me out of the crib-like bed and into a rather large stroller that had been brought in by the one of the Director’s assistants during the meeting. Once I was in the stroller, the caregiver pushed the stroller I was in, out of the conference room, through a door that led outside, then she turned to the left and then went slightly up the hill and over to another building that housed all of us subjects that could not do much and were a little more severely disabled. I was once again wheeled into the building, through a door,  and into a large room that had more crib-like beds in it, and the beds were full of subjects that were now fully bedridden and were awaiting their fates.  Each of their fates rested in the hands of the Director of this new government facility, as was mine. The reason that I was to be left in this room for two weeks, was so to build up enough wet diapers, so that when it was time, they would deposit me into a pile of my own wet, unrolled, disposable and cloth pre-fold diapers as well as all of the other wet disposable and cloth pre-fold diapers from the subjects at the facility. During the first 24 hours after the meeting with the director, quite a few people came in to get me to use as their test subject and to use me in their job tasks.  In one particular instance, it was 8 am and two women came in to take me out and use me in their trash collection training class. I was to be one of the subjects that was being collected. The idea was to give the trash collection trainees a chance to learn how to load a subject into a truck and what and what not to except. The practical experiences being taught in the class were to be used on their routes, as they start collecting more and more subjects.  “Hi there, we are here to take this subject out? We are going to bring him back here around 4:00 pm today. He will only get one diaper change and that is right before we load him into the truck we are using in today’s lesson. If you want to, you can change him into a nice, cleaner, drier diaper for us, then we won’t need to change him until we bring him back here. We will change him once he gets back here.” Stated the lady with the dark hair. “Does the subject have any of his own wet diapers that we can bring along with him to put into the truck with him so that it looks more authentic?” Asked the second Blonde haired Lady. “Yea…there is a whole, full 32 gallon can over there near the changing table that you can take right now. Just bring the can back when you bring him back. I have another can to replace that one with until that one is brought back.” Stated my caregiver. “Good. See you at around 4:00 pm then.” Said the dark haired lady as she picked me up and put me into the stroller. Then she pushed the stroller out of the building and back outside with the blonde woman using a hand truck to move the heavy 32 gallon trash can full of my wet only disposable diapers and old ragged cloth pre-fold diapers.  About two football fields away, was a red brick wall separating the Facility from the landfill. To the naked eye, the wall appeared to look as though there was no way around it but to go over it, but when you walk up close to it, there was a small break where three people could fit between the two walls, side-by-side, enough room for us to walk through. Once we passed through the wall, I was pushed down a short dirt hill and over to an area near the northern end of the large 300 acre landfill, that was used mostly for training local trash men and women. This area was where the stationary compactors, manual side-loading trash trucks were parked that were being used to train these personnel on how to dispose of a disabled subject. There was also a small trailer office near the training area where the test subjects would be taken and prepared for disposal by a qualified nurse and a doctor. The doctor would look the subject over one last time and write down any observations they may have about that subject. The nurse would be the one to carry out any of the orders that the doctor gave them before the subject was approved for use or for disposal.

The subject or subjects would be taken to the trailer at least 45 minutes prior to the training and the subject might receive a diaper change, possibly some mild sedative if the subject was resistant, and then the subject would be placed with the trash that was going to be used in the training. The sedative was so mild that it just made the subject groggy and lethargic enough so that any attempts at resistance would be too much of an effort on their part, but the subject would still be completely conscious of everything that was going on.

The two ladies brought me over to and then into the trailer and then they put me up onto a changing table before strapping me down so that I didn’t roll off. Once I was secured, the blonde woman came over to change my diaper. As she peeled the tapes back on the front of my diaper, she kept cooing and talking in baby talk, saying how cute I looked in a diaper and how I was such a good little boy.

The blonde woman put my wet disposable diaper onto my chest while she opened the other diaper, inserted the three layers of cloth pre-fold toddler-sized diapers in front and in back before she slid the diapers underneath me and then pulled the front of the soft, cushiony diapers up between my legs and began to fasten the tapes snugly. Once my new diaper was on, the blond took the wet diaper from my chest and then laid it aside while she unstrapped me from the changer, helped me down and then she carried me over to the 32 gallon trash can that had a lid on it. The dark haired woman came over and removed the trash can lid so that the blonde woman could put me down across the opening of the can. Then the dark haired woman went over to where my wet diaper was and then she brought the unrolled wet disposable diaper over and dropped the diaper back onto my chest. “There! All ready for final inspection by the nurse. Your disposal nurse will be checking you over in a few minutes. She might even unfasten your diaper some so to check to see that you have no rashes or if you do, they will take a note of your condition before we take you out there to the waiting trash truck.” Stated the dark haired woman speaking to me. Then the dark haired woman turned to the blonde woman and said;  “Now that he is diapered, I want you to go over to the supply pantry, sign out any opened and unused portions of packages of disposable diapers that they want to dispose of and bring them here. Then, put the diaper packages into that other 32 gallon trash can next to the one he is in now before it is time to start the training class at 11:00 am. It is now 10:00 am. Be back here before 10:30 am please.” Suggested the dark haired woman to the blonde. Then the blonde woman rushed out of the room, out of the door and over to the building where the supply pantry was. Meanwhile, the disposal nurse and the doctor came over to where I was and the nurse took up a standing position between my legs, that were draped over the edge of the 32 gallon trash can. “Hello there sweetie, I am nurse betty and this is Doctor Franco.

He is going to check you over now so I need to removed your diaper for a few minutes so he can take a good look at you. Then when he is done, I will put your diaper right back on, nice and snuggly. If I have to, I will even use this strong waterproof medical tape to hold the original tapes in place.” Stated the nurse while she unfastened the tapes of my diaper and pulled the front down. Then the nurse stepped out of the way so that the doctor could take a really good look at me. He even slid both of his hands underneath my butt so that he could lift me up some so that he could look for any signs of rashes or any sores around my diapering areas. Seeing no obvious signs of any rashes or broken skin much less any sores of any kind, he instructed the nurse to pull my diaper back up and refasten the tapes snuggly.

Then the doctor looked over the rest of me as he had done to my diapering region. Once he was done, he stood up and then approved me for use as a training subject and for disposal subsequently during the training class. Then the nurse made sure that all of the elastics along my legs, were snug and comfy, by sliding her two index fingers along the elastic gathers before she too stood up and then walked over to where the trash can lid was, then she brought it over and put the lid on over me before she used a couple of thick, strong Bungee cords to hold the lid on. Then, she and the doctor walked away.

Shortly after the doc and the nurse walked away, the blonde woman came in the trailer carrying a couple of large white trash bags full of unused portions of packages of disposable diapers in adult medium, large and six jumbo packs of unopened Pampers, Luvs, and some store brand disposable diapers in sizes six and seven. The blonde woman then set the two bags down and opened them. She then went over to the other trash can and took the lid off. She started to take out the packages of diapers and put them into the can, filling it up completely. Then once the can was full, the blonde woman put the lid on and locked it shut.  All that was left in the last bag was two packages of Luvs and one of the Pampers packs. She decided to go ahead and just carry the three packages to the side of the trash truck, stacking them on top of each other so that she could carry them all at once.

Then the dark haired woman, entered the office, rolling in two hand trucks, one at a time, into the room so that they could bring the two 32 gallon trash cans outside and to the side of the waiting side loading trash truck. The dark haired instructor slipped the can I was in, onto the hand truck she was using and then opened the door and then began to roll the trash can I was in, out of the door, rolling the can on the hand truck, down the ramp that led into the office.

Once the can I was in was down and out of the office, the first instructor was followed right behind by the second instructor, (the sandy blonde woman in the mini dress)  the blonde woman and the dark haired woman, on their way to the side of the trash truck that was ready and waiting for the trainees to fire up and start loading as they taught the class. The dark haired woman used her push-to-talk phone to call the other ladies at the orphanage near the landfill to bring their subjects over, dressed and ready for disposal. The dark haired woman knew that there were going to be at least five more thickly diapered subjects coming in to be used in the training class. A few minutes later, we arrived at the side of the truck where two men , had been waiting near the truck.  Then, one of the instructors went over to the can I was in, unhooked the bungee cord and then she lifted the can’s lid from off of me, then she picked me up and then put me down onto my feet for me to stand, until it was time to walk me over to the truck. The dark haired woman went over to the two men trainees and started to teach the class. About 45 minutes later, the second instructor was instructed to take me over to the right-hand side of the manual side-loading trash truck and wait there with the trash cans full of loose, wet, unrolled disposable diapers and a few cloth pre-folds, in one, and all of the large, unused portions of packages of Luvs, Pampers and Now, also Huggies in the other can. Then in just a few minutes, the dark haired woman instructed one of the trainees to go ahead and start the truck. And let the engine warm up some before the two men did a complete walk around to do an equipment check all around the whole truck. As the two men did their walk-around, a van full of thickly diapered subjects arrived and as the van quickly unloaded the subjects, each of the subjects was put into a single file line to wait as all of the sixteen bags of thick, bulky, semi-wet disposable diapers were tossed out of the back of the van and onto the ground, to get ready to load into the truck with the subjects.  Then, while the bags were being tossed out of the back of the van, one of the other staff members that came in the van with the subjects, began to march the subjects over to where the maid and I were standing on the right-hand side of the trash truck. The subjects were allowed to sit or stand along-side the right-hand side of the trash truck. As we subjects sat and stood near the side of the truck, behind us, the orphanage staff began to stack all of the heavy bags full of loose, semi-wet disposable diapers into a large, 7 foot high pile, next to the two trash cans. Then, a few minutes later, the first trainee began to load the hopper with some of the bags from behind us subjects. Then the man picked a subject and then brought them over to the side of the truck and then lifted them into the hopper, laying them onto their right side on top of the few bags of diapers. On the other side of the truck, there was an EVEN BIGGER pile of loose, unrolled, wet disposable diapers that were not in bags, that needed to be loaded into the truck during the training class.

As the subjects and I stood around the right side of the truck, waiting to be loaded into the Load-al manual side loader trash truck that was quickly filling up with wet disposable diapers and the first disabled subjects, I started to try to talk to the trainee trash man so to pass the time. “How long will this take? “ I asked the trash man. “Oh…not too long, you should be up next, once I run the packer and it finishes, I will load some more diapers then it will be your turn…..just a few minutes now.” Stated the trainee. Then the class instructor chimed in; “Oh, don’t you worry….your time is coming. You ought to be thinking about how comfy all of those diapers will feel while they are being very tightly pressed against you while you are being compacted! Besides…trash can’t talk and we don’t answer to trash!” Stated the instructor rather sternly. The blonde girl turned out to be one of the subjects that was being used as a disposal training subject. I was wondering why she was hanging around next to the trash truck when she lifted her dress to reveal her diaper. “Oh…I see now! She was just asked to help get everything ready for her and our disposal!” I thought to myself as I looked at her. Then, just as I had finished that thought, the trash man trainee turned to face me and then reached over to take my hand so he could jerk me closer to the hopper so he could pick me up and help me into the hopper. “Are you ready for disposal? You have been waiting here patiently for me to load you. Ok, stay there, like that, while I empty a few more of these bags and loose diapers into there. Then…it will be time to hit the packer switch.” Stated the trash man as he helped me into the hopper on top of the loose diapers and few bags.

The trash man then tossed five or six bags of wet and dirty diapers into the hopper on top of me and then tossed in a whole bunch of loose individual diapers before he went to stand in front of the packer switch. “Ok, it’s packer time….ready? The truck is going to have a BIG…crush on you boy!  here we go…” said the trash man trainee as he hit the switch.

 Then, as the packer was cycling, the trash man trainee brought the blonde girl over to the side of the hopper so that once he loads in a few bags, once the hopper clears some, he can load her in next. The trainee trash man tossed in seven bags of diapers then jerked the blonde girl in the pink dress over to face the hopper so he could help her into the hopper. As she climbed in, he smacked her on her thickly diapered butt and told her to hurry and lay down on her side. “Now, stay there while I go and get a few more loose diapers to load in here..ok?” Stated the trash man trainee. Then the trash man went over to the large pile on the other side of the truck and started to carry a few of the packages of diapers over to the hopper to toss in. Then the trash man went back over to the pile again and this time, brought some of the empty trash cans over to fill up with the loose, wet disposable diapers. Then, once he loaded the loose, wet disposable diapers into the hopper and began another packer cycle, the class instructor said “Ok, time to switch…” and then a new guy came over to continue loading more and more disposable diapers and a few of the subjects that were still waiting to be loaded. The other trash man trainee came over and took the other sandy blonde girl by the hand and then jerked her over to the side of the hopper. “Wait here diapered trash…I have to go get more diaper trash to load up…you will be the next one I load.” Stated the newest trash man trainee.

Then the trash man trainee loaded the hopper up and then took the girl by the right shoulder and then guided her into the hopper. “It’s time to start the compactor now….hope you’re nice and comfy..because you are going to get REALLY CLOSE..with all of these dirty diapers!” Stated the trash man trainee to the girl as he ran the compactor. Then the instructor came over to check on the new trainee. “How are you doing?” Asked the instructor. “Simply SMASHING…Darling..Simply…smashing baby..” Said the trash man trainee laughing a little with the instructor as they both laughed at the irony of his joke. “Glad to hear that you are doing so well. We are going to have to hurry up and get all of these diapers loaded up and then we have to finish the class until next weekend.” Stated the instructor to the rest of the class.  “Are we a bit…”Pressed for time?” joked the trash man trainee” The whole class chuckled a little bit then they all began to chip in to start getting all of the diapers from the piles loaded up into the truck.  There were only two more subjects left to get loaded into the truck and so the instructor came over to the girl laying on her side, on the ground, made her stand up and then made her come over to the side of the truck to get her ready for loading. “Next up please…” Stated the trash man trainee to the smaller girl in the old Pampers diaper. “there is ONE more subject…they are doing last-minute preparations on her as we speak. The subject will be brought over here for you to load in just a bit.” Stated the instructor to the trash man trainee. “In just a BIT??? That bytes for her!” joked the trash man trainee as he ran another compactor cycle. As the compactor was compacting the load and the subject, the trash man trainee started to load diapers from right next to the truck, near where the smaller girl was laying. Then, when the trash man trainee was ready, he took the girl by her right arm and said as he helped her in; “Step right up, step right up….got your diapers right here…got your comfy diapers here…

Now…featuring….little girl in the Pampers diaper….it’s PACKER TIME!!!!!!...are you ready little one?”

Stated the trash man trainee trying to help entertain the subjects with his humor aiding in softening the blow of being compacted and disposed of. The little girl shook her head then the trash man trainee started the compactor then said; “Here we go…” then he watched the compactor do the load, crushing the girl between all of the diapers then he set the packer to do another cycle before he went over to grab two empty trash cans to go fill up with the diapers from the pile while the packer was cycling.

While the packer was cycling, more bags of wet diapers, old cloth pre-fold diapers and some of the subject’s old clothing that was to be disposed of with them, was loaded into the hopper on top of the compactor blade as it was just beginning to retract by the first trash man trainee. Meanwhile, the white van left and then one of the instructors brought their van over closer.

Then, before everyone knew what had happened, all of the subjects, all of the diapers from the pile and the smaller pile near the truck, all had been loaded up.

“Good Job Class! Now, when you go to work this week, you can use all that you have learned here today.” Stated the instructor. “Who would like to drive the truck to the special place that we take these kinds of loads?” Asked the instructor. “ I would..” said one of the trash men trainees. “I would as well…” said the other. “Good! Then both of you can go take the truck to the special government dumping area for these types of loads.” Stated the instructor. “Before we go though, take the six empty trash cans and put them into the back of my van, then follow me…ok boys?” Instructed the instructor.

The two trash man trainees put the six trash cans into the back of the instructor’s van then they climbed into the cab, and then waited to follow the instructor to the special government dumping area.

The two men followed the female instructor through a city, and into a seemingly deserted and barren area until we reached a very tall red brick wall. We went through the gateway and then a large, tall pile of disposable diapers appeared.

The piles were more than four stories tall and covered nearly 3 miles. The truck stopped and then it backed up to the pile and then the tailgate began to open and lift upwards. Then, the compactor started up and began to push all of the diapers and all of us subjects out of the back. I slid out near the beginning and then I went to go stand at one of the nearest ends of the pile until the truck was done unloading. Once one of the other female diapered subjects was pushed out, she also followed my idea to stand out of the way. Then, once the truck was empty, the van and the truck left, leaving all of us subjects that survived, with the pile, all alone…..at least until another truck came to dump it’s load.

It was at least 300 miles to the nearest city or more. Where the special above-ground landfill was, was really out in the middle of no-where. I wandered around the landfill, dizzy, and weak from not eating for two days and my diaper was now getting too wet to wear. Luckily, there were some dry and clean diapers that were still in their now damaged packages that I was able to climb onto the pile and find.

Once I found them, the other subjects asked for a diaper so that they too could change their diapers too.

I pulled out a few of the diapers that were still usable and started to hand them out to the other subjects that this size would fit. As for the other subjects, their diapers were larger than the size that I had found. I told them that they would have to look around in the pile for any of the diapers that were slightly drier than the one that they had on.

The other subjects agreed, and they also were starting to feel week, so they climbed around the pile until they found disposable diapers that were drier and they changed into them, tossing their wet diapers onto the pile. Then, they all agreed to try to huddle together to help each other stay warm, I suggested that we use the plastic trash bags to trap heat, to keep us warm during the night.

…then, the pile and the subjects began to fade out and reality faded in.

I began to wake up in a hospital, in a crib-like bed, with lots and lots of other beds of the same type, next to me, near me and in front of the bed I was in. There were at least fourteen rows of crib-like beds, each with a subject inside. There was a loud beeping sound coming from behind me and before I knew what was going on, the bed I was in, was rolled out of the room and then down a hall and then it was rolled into another room with only four beds like it inside. The side was then brought down and then I was carefully lifted out of the bed and then put into a hospital bed and then I was quickly covered up with blankets and sheets to keep me warm.  The crib-like bed was rolled away and I was then attended to by a doctor and four nurses. I still didn’t know how to talk though, and I didn’t even know where I was.

Last thing I remembered, that I was riding in mom’s big Buick Electra with my younger brother and we were going to the store to get more diapers for us. I don’t remember anything after that.

It turns out that mother had stopped at a traffic light and when the light turned green, she entered the intersection and a big old orange and white, gasoline tanker had hit the car on the passenger side at 44 miles an hour! The driver of the tanker had a heart attack and had died while driving down the street, moments before the truck hit our car. In the crash, my 1 year old baby brother had been sitting right behind the passenger seat and I had been sitting behind mom in the driver’s seat when the truck hit. The truck’s tank had burst and was gushing fuel onto the street and as soon as the fuel reached underneath our car, the fuel burst into flame! Mom was barely conscious enough to be able to get both of us out of the car in time before our car blew up. My baby brother was unconscious, mother had bad head trauma and was bleeding badly, from hitting the steering wheel hard and then her head bouncing against the driver’s side window, that caused the window to burst upon impact of her head.

Mom was really hurt badly but was just able to get us kids out of the car in time. I was the second one to lose consciousness while laying there on the curb. Mom stayed semi conscious until she knew that us two boys were at the hospital and being taken care of. It was at that moment, that she herself lost consciousness and then later on, two days later, died from severe head trauma. I had just woke up from a coma that had lasted over 10 years. I didn’t even know what year it was let alone know where…I was or for that matter, that mother was long gone and where my baby brother was. There was this one kind, pretty looking nurse that always came in to change my diapers and take my vitals that had been telling me about all that had happened to me, and what was going to happen to me there in the hospital, in my unconscious state. Maybe that….was what my brain was interpreting and was filtering into this dream that felt very much like a weird reality! My mind hadn’t grown past the age I was when the accident happened. I was still 2 year old mentally and emotionally. I had a lot….of growing up to do too.

The nurse that had taken a liking to me was thinking about adopting my brother and I once we got to a conscious state. She had a large house that she had inherited from her mother, a nice car, a husband that loved her and she wasn’t able to have kids of her own. She had talked it over with her husband and her husband was excited about having at least one of us..but wasn’t yet too sure about both of us.

The nurse had told me all about this as she was changing my diaper. The nurse told me that she wasn’t going to be able to adopt me. The next few days, were spent deciding what to do with me. The hospital administrator was given a few days to get me ready to be placed with an agency that took in orphaned disabled kids, that was funded by the federal government. The agency had an entire facility that had only children that had to, or just wore diapers full time for medical reasons. The hospital administrator signed the discharge papers and the man and woman that had come for me, had gone straight to the administrator’s office first to sign me out before they came down to the room I was now in, to meet me and to come take me to their facility.  I was picked up and out of the crib-like bed I was in, put into a stroller, and then the nurse handed them a white hospital bag full of two packages of diapers, and a few clothes, a couple of onesies, a white one and a blue one, a pair of special needs pants that had Velcro along the right side that allowed for easy access (a shameless plug for Easy-Access Clothing… www.easyaccessclothing.com )

And two pair of new socks and a pair of new sneakers that had been left for me by some of my late mother’s family. I was pushed out of the hospital and over to a large full-sized van. I was put into the seat closest to the door, into a larger sized version of a child safety seat. Then I was buckled in before the stroller and the bag of my things was put into the back of the van. Then the man and woman got into the van and we drove off, headed to the facility. It took about 45 minutes to get to the new facility. (new to me that is) As we drove up the driveway to the facility, I felt that I was never going to get out of this place. All of the things that were being said to me, and the way that I was being treated as we drove to the facility, made me feel like these people liked me too much and were going to keep me in this condition rather than trying to help me progress to my actual age, with education and rehabilitation.

Once the van parked, the driver and the woman got out and the driver went around to the back of the van to open the doors, take out the large pushchair/stroller, and open the stroller up so that the woman could put me into it. Then, I was unbuckled from the safety seat and then lifted me up and then out of the van and into the stroller. Then the hospital bag full of my diapers, clothing and such was put underneath my seat before the woman pushed me inside and into the large building. Once inside the large building, I was pushed down a long hallway to near the end. On the right side, there was a door that led into a larger room that had lots and lots of other safety beds or otherwise known as larger sized cribs. The cribs already had other people in them that were also in similar conditions as I was.

I was pushed over to one of three empty cribs. The stroller stopped and then I was taken out of the stroller and then laid down into the crib before the woman raised the tall side and locked it in place.

Then the woman unloaded the hospital bag from under the seat in the stroller then began to take the packages of diapers and loose diapers as well as my clothing out, putting the clothing into a changer/dresser at the foot of the crib bed I was now in. Then the woman put the diapers on top of the dresser/changer then she pushed the empty stroller out of the room and then left the room for a while to do some paperwork in the office. I slept for at least four hours before it was time for dinner. One of the kind nurses, came in and got me out of the crib-like bed and brought me out to the dining room to eat. The nurse put me into a large version of a highchair complete with the slide-on tray. I was then fitted with a bib before my plate came out, steaming hot. It was Macaroni and cheese, Spinach, and chocolate milk to drink. The nurse assigned to me was spoon-feeding me and dabbing the dribbles from my mouth as I ate. Once the food was gone, the nurse got me out of the highchair and then took me over to the living area where the TV was and then she sat down on a couch, bringing me into her lap so that she could give me the large bottle that she had full of Chocolate milk. The nurse then inserted the larger nipple into my mouth and got me to start drinking. The nurse then started to run her fingers through my hair and that made me feel comfortable enough to start to relax. I soon fell back to sleep.

When I awoke, I found myself on the diaper changing table, getting my diaper changed by another nurse who was blonde. The ditzy blonde woman unfastened the tapes of my diaper and then pulled my wet diaper out from underneath me then she tossed the unrolled diaper into a large 14 gallon sized trash can already full of other diapers. Then the woman began to take some wipes from the wipes container nearby and began to wipe my diapering areas clean, tossing each used wipe into the diaper pail.

Then, the blonde woman cooed at me and smiled at me as she took one of the clean diapers out from the package and opened it up. Then she slid the diaper underneath me before she brought the front of the diaper up and began to smooth the wings into place. Then she took the right-hand side tape and then brought it over to the refastening panel on the front of the diaper. Then she fastened the left-hand side of the diaper. “Now…you have a very, very comfy, clean, thick disposable diaper on, you, and four others that also reside in this room are going to be taken down to our basement where our doctor will look you over before we allow one of our clients to take you. They said they wanted four of our patients and that they would bring you all back after they were done. I am going to put you down in your crib for now until they come. Sorry kiddo, you can only wear your diapers until they come.” Said the blonde woman as she put me back into my crib. Then the blonde woman raised the side and then went to go wash her hands, leaving the room, through the hallway.  It wasn’t long before another staff member came into the room and then came over to the crib I was in, to take me out and down to the basement so that the Doctor could look me over before I was temporarily released to the client.

Then as the doctor’s assistant had just finished unfastening my thick clean disposable diaper, the nurse that had brought me down there to see the doctor, came over to watch the doctor and the assistant.  The doctor took a good look at me and saw that I had a rash on my left butt cheek and he also found that one testicle wasn’t fully developed and could still go up inside the canal that it had dropped from. “This one has a rash, and a defective testicle. He is also got the mind of a two year old. There will be NO chance that he will get any better.” Stated the doctor to the nurse as he wrote down his observations. “Go ahead and put his diaper back on and then take him over to the trash cart that is waiting over there and put him into it. Each of these subjects will be taken down to our stationary compactor and then be loaded into it along with all of their wet and clean diapers.” Stated the nurse as she explained what was going to happen to each of the subjects to the doctor. “Why did you guys even take this one in then…??? Asked the doctor. “Well, in the next few weeks, we are going to be disposing of half of the subjects that are here because they are either going to die soon or they are going to end up dying at some point in the next six months. This one, you are examining right now, is neither going to die, nor is close to dying. The director just couldn’t take him on right now and didn’t realize the mistake until it was too late.” Explained the nurse to the doctor. “so..I am examining each subject so that you can attest to the state of their health when they each get disposed of?” Asked the doctor. “Yes…we have to state how each person’s health is before we can dispose of them. That way, we can justify disposing of them.” Stated the nurse to the doctor. As the doctor’s assistant put the next person up onto the exam table and then got them strapped down for safety, the doctor switched to the next form on his clipboard. “Well..hello there. I am here to take a look at you. I am going to take your diaper off for a minute so that I can see if you have any rashes or broken skin. If you don’t, we will put your diaper back on. If you DO…have a rash, we will put some rash ointment on it, then add some powder to your diaper before we put it back on.” Said the doctor as he described what was going to happen. “Then, you will join the other person over there in one of the trash carts full of clean and dirty diapers.” Further explained the doctor.  Then the assistant unfastened the tapes of the next subject’s diaper and then pulled the front of it down so that the doctor could look for any signs of rashes. Not seeing any, the doctor signaled the assistant to go ahead and put the diaper back on and get the subject over to the trash cart. Once the second person was over in the cart, the third person was put into place. The assistant then unfastened the tapes on this person’s diaper and pulled it down. The doctor looked and noticed a small area of rash. He then instructed the assistant to apply some rash cream then add some baby powder to the diaper before pulling it back up and refastening the tapes. Once the rash cream and powder were applied, and the diaper was back on the third person, the assistant walked the person over to the trash cart and then put them into it, on top of us…the first two. Then the assistant brought over the last person who was wearing a really, really thick Pampers Baby-Dry diaper.  The assistant laid the girl down onto her back, onto the exam table and then began to unfasten the tapes of her disposable diaper. Once the tapes were unfastened, the assistant pulled the front of the diaper down so the doctor could take a look. “the doctor really took his time looking at all of the various diapering areas carefully before instructing the assistant to add some powder to the diaper. Then the assistant then did as instructed and added a lot of baby powder to the diaper before pulling the front of the diaper back up and refastening the tapes. Once the person’s diaper was on, the subject was then taken over to the second trash cart full of unused disposable diapers, old ragged cloth pre-fold diapers as well as old contour cloth diapers, and then put inside. Meanwhile, three janitors waited near the carts to make sure that none of the subjects being disposed of were able to escape their fates. What we didn’t know, was that the client that I was supposed to go to, had called and reneged on taking any of us and me. So, the director had to choose this option for me instead. Then, once the last subject had been placed into the second cart about to be taken out and emptied, the assistant came over to the cart that I was in and fished around until she found me. She then pulled me out and made me stand with my back facing her while she pulled back the waistband elastics and shook a whole bunch of baby powder into my diaper. Then she whipped me around and then shoved the nearly empty baby powder bottle down the front of my diaper, adding the remaining baby powder to the front half of my diaper. Then she handed me the now empty bottle and then she nodded to the janitors who then began to roll the carts out of the room. As the carts were being rolled, the assistant explained to the janitors that they were to also bring all of the trash from the trash chutes, over to the trash truck that was about to arrive soon.  I kept thinking about the dream that I had and how it was now becoming a reality. As we passed some of the other rooms, the janitors stopped for a few minutes so that they could empty the wet diapers from the that room’s diaper pails. Then, once the diapers were emptied into the cart, the cart was rolled to another room then it stopped again. The other janitor went inside first to bring out any of the old cloth diaper rags that were being thrown away. He emptied them into the cart behind the one I was in. Then the janitor that was push the cart I was in, went inside to gather up all of the clean and wet disposable diapers that were being thrown away. He brought four large, deep diaper pails to the cart and then emptied the loose, unrolled wet, disposable diapers into the cart on top of us before he put the empty pail back. He did this a couple more times before he pushed the cart through the hallway, then through a pair of double-doors that led out to the back of the orphanage, to an alley.

Then the janitors began to roll the carts over to the 9 32 gallon trash cans that they had set out for the trash men to come and empty. Once they got the carts close enough to the cans, they opened them up and then began to take large handfuls of the loose diapers and put them into the cans. Once the cans were full, the janitors then made each of us get out of the carts and then stand near the trash cans until the trash truck arrived. The janitors then rolled the now empty carts back into the orphanage while the doctor’s assistant and the director came outside to make sure that each of us got put into the hopper of the trash truck and we didn’t escape. The Director had brought out three boxes and one package of unopened, and unused old disposable diapers that had never been used since being bought back in the early eighties. The janitors even brought out two full laundry baskets worth of clean cloth pre-fold diapers that the director had asked them to bring out for disposal.

As I stood there, next to the trash truck, dressed in only my Attends Medium disposable diaper, the director began to run her fingers through my hair so as to try and calm any real nervousness I might be feeling, and she was probably feeling a little bad that she had to dispose of me. She then reached behind me and gently pulled up my diaper as it was sagging a little bit. The trash man that was busy getting all of the trash cans put closer to the truck, came over to me and while sizing me up, said; “Get ready to be loaded, you will be next. Hope that dipee is comfy..because we still have a long…long ways to go before we reach the landfill” Stated the trash man as he moved a few of the cans closer to the side of the truck. “Oh, his diaper is certainly comfortable…I made sure of that!” stated the director to the trash man. “Good! Now…is there anything that you may want or want put on you before we load you?” asked the trash man trying to be nice. “He is just fine. Take him in what he is wearing….he is ready to be loaded.” Stated the director to the trash man. “Ok…don’t say I didn’t ask you….” Stated the trash man talking to me.

Once the girl before me, was loaded and packed into the back of the container of the truck, the trash man that was doing all of the loading, came over to me, took me by my left arm and then made me face the stinky hopper. Then he made me wait for a second while the second trash man took me by the right arm and then the two of them together, both lifted me up and then gave me a strong shove that made me land right into the nearly bare hopper. Then the trash men both started to empty the remaining cans into the hopper. Then the second trash man went over to toss the old vintage boxes of unopened Pampers and Huggies into the hopper, all of which landed on top of me. Then, as the last full can was emptied, the second trash man tossed in the two full laundry baskets full of all of the pre-fold cloth diapers. The laundry baskets landed on top of the rest of the diapers and one of them even toppled over and the diapers inside all spilled out into the hopper, loosely. Then once all of the diapers had been emptied into the hopper, the first trash man started the compactor. The compactor quickly advanced and quickly crushed the load before quickly retracting back to its starting position.  Then the first and second trash men jumped onto the kickboards and then signaled to the driver that it was time to go to the next stop.

The truck drove for quite some time, turning, stopping, driving then turning left, and right until it slowed down and came to a stop. The driver of the truck started the PTO so that when it came time, the trash men could run the packer. The two trash men got down and began to empty all of the trash cans full of loose, wet, unrolled disposable diapers, old clean and dirty cloth pre-folds, clothing, cloth training pants as well as disposable training pants and pull-ups. As the trash men continued to load the hopper, the compactor kept cycling in fast cycles. The diapers from the orphanage and the diapers being emptied into the hopper currently were now pressing very hard against me. Some of the diapers were curled up and being pressed into the waistband and leg elastics of the diaper I was wearing.  Once all of the diapers from this stop were all emptied into the truck and the compactor was run, the trash men climbed back into the cab and went off to the next stop.

The truck drove to a larger stop that always had lots and lots of trash cans and trash bags full of wet disposable diapers, wet and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers that they only used twice without even washing them before they disposed of them ( clean cloth pre-fold diapers that were brand new at the beginning, then were wet in then were changed, allowed to dry then reused on the same person without washing or rinsing before being wet in again and then disposed of.)  and lots and lots of slightly used almost new clothing, such as onesies, footed sleepers, plain white undershirts, plain white soccer style shorts and plain white basketball style shorts.

The place where all of these items were being disposed of from, frequently used disposable diapers with the plastic backing and they choose to only use the Fitti brand, Vintage Pampers brand, and the Huggies Whites diapers that all had the plastic backing. The people who own this place, also dispose of unopened packages of disposable diapers, baby wipes, baby powder, and sometimes they even open the packages and empty all of the unused, unwanted disposable diapers into the trash cans before they dispose of the empty packaging. These people have been known to make each of their diapered subjects, carry full, unopened packages of the diapers that they are wearing,  out to meet the waiting trash truck. This particular time, there were four disabled people in varying sizes and chronological ages. All of the people that are standing and or sitting outside, waiting for the trash truck, holding two unopened packages of the diapers that each one is wearing, each of them is mentally 2, 3 and even younger.  Each of the people standing and or sitting there, are also considered to be, midgets, little people. Then, as the truck was just pulling up to the stop, two more people that were severely retarded and developmentally delayed or stunted, were brought out to meet the truck, with the people who were escorting them outside,  the escorts carrying two contractor trash bags full of loose, unused, clean thick disposable diapers as well as two week’s worth of wet, unrolled disposable diapers that the subjects had worn the past two weeks.

The truck stops and the two trash men jump down from the side kickboards or AKA Running boards that run along each side of the truck and then they each started to take some of the unopened packages of disposable diapers, and the few 32 gallon cans that were full of loose, clean, unused, unpackaged extra large sized Fitti brand disposable diapers and then empty them into the hopper. The plastic backing on the diapers made a very loud crinkling sound as they spilled out into the hopper. Then, once the cans of loose disposable diapers were emptied, the trash men tossed the full unopened packages of the various brands of disposable diapers into the hopper, the packages making a thud as they hit the sides and floor of the hopper. Then one of the trash men went over and picked up one of the little diapered people and then tossed them through the air and they landed into the hopper on top of the diapers. Then the other trash man carried the other little diapered girl over to the side of the truck and then sat them down in the hopper before the other trash man hit the compactor switch. The poor little diapered midget man and woman that were emotionally and mentally between the ages of 2 and 3, were slid across the floor of the hopper and crushed against the other loads of diapers that were already inside. As the compactor was still cycling, the trash men tossed in a whole bunch of the bags full of wet and clean disposable diapers as well as two bags full of wet and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers as well as two more trash cans full of clean, folded cloth pre-fold diapers that had not ever been used yet but had to be disposed of because they were faulty and made wrong, into the hopper on top of the packer blade as it was just retracting. Some of the diapers even had large rips and tears in them from the factory that made them. Then the trash men both picked up a subject each and then brought their diapered little person over to the side of the truck. The first trash man leaned into the hopper and then set the little person down inside before the other trash man did the same.

Then the two trash men tossed in a bunch of the footed sleepers, onesies, and other cloth pre-fold diapers as well as four large white bags full of disposable diapers that had never been used before and had been taken from their packages and then emptied right into the trash bag right before they were brought outside to be disposed of. Then the second trash man pushed the packer cycle switch as he went to get the next little diapered disabled person to load. Seeing that they had no more little people in diapers to load, they loaded the remaining loads of diapers before jumping onto the running boards and then giving the signal to go to the next stop.

The truck drove for a short while, turning, stopping, driving, turning and then stopping at the next stop, which was behind another large mansion. The mansion’s cleaning staff came outside carrying four large full bags of dirty and clean almost new pre-fold cloth diapers and mixed clean and wet thick, bulky disposable diapers. The main cleaning lady was just coming outside through the back door that led out to the alleyway holding two arms up into the air as she briskly escorted two younger, small, short, disabled people to the side of the trash truck. The two disabled people were wearing really, thick, bulky, white, thick, crinkly disposable diapers that had waistband elastics. The main cleaning lady was saying; “ Time to do the dirty diapers now…..you two….are about to be done WITH….all of your..nice…..comfy..clean and dirty cloth and disposable diapers! HEEHEEHEEHEE!!!! Take ‘em boys!” Stated the main cleaning lady as she turned the thickly diapered disabled boy and girl over to the trash men so that they could be “done” in their dirty diaper collection truck. Just as the two trash men took each of the thickly diapered boy and girl to get loaded, the janitors brought out a very old playpen full of vintage unopened, boxes of disposable diapers from the 80’s. there were also quite a few loose, wet newer disposable diapers in there too. The janitor dragged the old playpen that was stuck in the open position and wouldn’t fold up at all anymore.  One of the trash men decided to put the boy he had, into the playpen for a minute until the girl was finished being “done” in the load of clean and dirty diapers. Then, as the one trash man started up the slow packer cycle, he came over to help the other trash man load the playpen with all of the vintage 80’s boxes of diapers and the subject in it, into the hopper. “Ready? On three…one….two…THREEEEE!” The two trash men picked the old dingy playpen up and then heaved it into the hopper. It landed on top of the retracting packer blade and then a few of the boxes of vintage diapers fell out and surprisingly, the thickly diapered boy, stayed in. The packer blade retracted and then the rest of the playpen fell into the hopper right side up. Both of the trash men then tossed in the remaining loads of disposable and cloth diapers before starting another cycle of the compactor. As the next cycle of the compactor started, the head cleaning lady stood within view of the hopper and watched as the boy and the diapers got folded up in and with the old dingy playpen and crushed into the box-container of the truck, against all of the loads of disposable diapers, cloth diapers, old clothing and other diapered people already in there. Then, the trash men both tossed the remaining trash bags through the air and into the hopper before they both got back onto the running boards on each side of the truck, before giving the signal to move on to the next stop.

The truck drove down the same alley and then stopped at another large house in the up-scale neighborhood that had six 32 gallon trash cans full of loose, unrolled, semi wet disposable diapers, partially used up packages of medium adult disposable diapers, open, loose, semi-wet disposable diapers with wads of wipes in them, mostly empty containers of baby powder, and lots and lots of used, but not wet, chucks, or bed pads that had been used over the person’s disposable diapers like disposable plastic pants. There was also a maid and a janitor standing on each side of a short disabled  boy wearing a slightly wet medium attends disposable diaper with six thick diaper doublers or booster pads inside of it. The 28 year old mildly retarded boy that also had severe autism and also was developmentally delayed and was emotionally and mentally the age of 1 and a half, and couldn’t talk, could barely walk but could stand for a short period of time, was fidgeting some when the truck pulled up and stopped right in front of them.

Next to the last trash can, there were 8 bags of disposable diapers that the boy had worn but had not wet in over a long period of time and the maids had put down in a basement to dispose of but had forgotten about until this time. The two trash men jumped down and started to grab the trash bags first, tossing the mildly heavy trash bags through the air and into the hopper. Once all of the bags were in the hopper, the trash men grabbed the first two trash cans and then tossed the lids off before they brought the cans over to the side of the hopper and began to empty the  loose, open, semi-wet disposable diapers into the hopper.

Then, the next two cans were overfilled with the left-over unused portions of packages of the boy’s Attends with waistband medium disposable diapers that the two trash men emptied into the hopper. Then, instead of grabbing one of the cans, both of the trash men came over to the boy, the janitor and the maid. “Hello there, got one for us today?” asked the one trash man. “Yes…One for disposal please…” stated the janitor to the trash man, giving the boy a slight push towards the trash man.

Then the trash man looked over at his partner and they both took the boy’s arms on each side of him and then escorted him over to the side of the hopper to get ready to load him.

“Sorry boy, you are here to be disposed of and if your diaper is wet or dry, clean or dirty, you….are STILL…going into the truck! We don’t care WHAT…you are wearing! It will be a while before we have to go to the landfill, so enjoy the ride….” Said one of the trash men as he helped load the diapered boy into the hopper, on top of all of the trash bags and loose disposable diapers. Then the two trash men both went over to grab a 32 gallon trash can each to empty into the hopper. Once each of the cans had been emptied and put back, the trash men started to toss in the various packages of disposable diapers that were sitting along the curb.

Before the two trash men could get all of the packages of diapers into the hopper of the truck, one of them had to run a couple of cycles of the compactor to clear the hopper for more trash. As the first compactor cycle began, the trash men continued to toss in the rest of the unused packages of disposable diapers. The packages landed on top of the compactor blade as it crushed the trash and the thickly diapered boy. The diapers in the load being crushed, rose up and some even fell down onto the top of the packer blade as it began to retract.

Then the two trash men got onto the running boards and then one of them whistled for the driver to go to the next stop.  The truck drove for a while, stopping, turning, then stopping and then turning before it drove up to the front of a house and stopped.

The two trash men got down and started to toss in the first two trash bags that were the closest. Then they started to empty the 32 gallon trash cans slightly overflowing with loose, unrolled, wet disposable diapers.  Some of the loose diapers had fallen to the ground before the trash men got there, but they didn’t care….they were in a hurry to get to the next stop so that after that, they could stop off at the landfill to empty the truck so that they could finish their route for the day.

The truck was starting to get full now and with each compactor cycle, the pressure was very intense and the loads of diapers buckled up more and more. The thick disposable diaper that I was wearing had already started to burst at the leg elastics. Some of the padding had started to force its way between the liner and the plastic. There were seven other wet disposable diapers now sticking to the front, both sides and back of my diaper.