The Landfill-Plausible Deniability (Dirty Version For Ramona Miles at Waste Management)

#The Landfill-Plausible Deniability

For Ramona Miles, who works at the Colorado Springs Landfill owned and managed by Waste Management

Based on actual conversations with a real gatehouse worker who works at the Colorado Springs Landfill owned and managed by Waste Management. A realistic and hypothetical account of how my actual disposal could actually go.

I decided to write this story, featuring parts from real telephone conversations with Miss Ramona Miles who works at the gatehouse at this landfill.

After calling the landfill, and calling the corporate CEO to obtain written permission to be taken as trash when I decide to submit myself, I decided to write this story, featuring parts from real telephone conversations with Miss Ramona Miles who works at the gatehouse at this landfill.

It was only 4:30 pm that Tuesday afternoon when I arrived at the Colorado Springs landfill, owned and managed by Waste Management, located at; 1010 N Blaney Road

Colorado Springs, CO 80808

I paid a private hauling company to take me and my stuff to the local landfill. The driver allowed me to load all six boxes of unused Pampers size six,

Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six,

four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six,

four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six,

four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages,

six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium,

                                             

six long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large,

one green 97 gallon Waste Management trash tote,

                       

two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans full of my adult cloth diapers, ten mixed 96 gallon and 100 gallon modified black trash bags full of disposable diapers,

       

four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing and to be loaded into the back of the truck. I had already told the driver what my plan was and he agreed to allow me to ride to the landfill in the back of the truck, in the bed with everything I was bringing. As We drove to the landfill, I removed my shorts and my shoes and tossed my shorts and shoes into one of the bags containing my clothes.

There was a short line at the entrance to the landfill when we arrived. Two vehicles ahead of us entered the landfill and then we pulled across the scale and stopped. The man got out at the request of Ramona miles, who works at the gatehouse.

The driver slid open the side metal door on his hauling truck revealing me wearing only my diaper, a dingy stained up white t-shirt and socks, the trash cans, large trash bags and all of the unopened boxes, and packages of diapers. Ramona looked at everything in the back of the truck and then looked at me. She then asked;

Ramona: Are you part of the load?

Adam: Yes, Ma’am, I am.

Ramona then asked the man to pull aside and unload my items near the gatehouse and out of the way until she could deal with me and my stuff. The man helped me unload all of my stuff at the designated area where he was directed to and then the rest of the driver’s load was accepted. The man signed the printed documents and then was directed to an area to dump his load.

The man finished and then pulled around to the exit side. Before he pulled across the scale, he paused to tell me good luck. I smiled and waved then he proceeded across the scale and then left shortly thereafter.   

I waited near the scale at the gatehouse with a full 97 gallon green Waste Management trash container full of my loose, clean and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers, eight 96 gallon bags and 100 gallon trash bags full of assorted unrolled wet and worn-but-not-wet disposable diapers, six boxes of unused Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans full of my adult cloth diapers and four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing. Ramona who works at the gatehouse at this landfill, came out and over to where I was sitting with all of my things, to greet me.

Ramona: (slightly shocked at seeing that I was wearing nothing but a dingy, white t-shirt and a really thick and bulky, crinkly disposable diaper. She reaches out her hand hesitantly to shake mine as I catch her gazing at my thick, white, and bulky diaper.)

Hi there. I’m Ramona, and your name is Adam…right?

Adam: Yep, that’s me…

Ramona: Well, it’s nice to meet ya. You are here to be dumped into our landfill huh?

Well! You WILL get your wish.

Adam: It’s really great to meet you as well. Yep, I came here to be disposed of. Today…is….THE…day.

Ramona: Well, you can wait in the gatehouse with me if you like but I am going to have to get you bagged up so that no one sees you before I can get you taken over to the pit for disposal!

Adam: Ok….but Ramona, I don’t have any paperwork!!!

Ramona: Oh…well, that is a problem! I will simply have to get you bagged up a lot sooner than later  and then you will need to be dead before you go to the pit I am afraid!

Adam: Why must I be dead by then?

Ramona: because, then we can accept you as waste and then no one will hear or see you in the bag! I can’t have you wiggling or moving around in the bag! You’d give yourself away in that bag! I will have to bag you and your diapers up so that no one sees you before I can have some of my laborers take the bag you will be in, to the pit! This will be a secret between you and I! mostly with me since you won’t be around to tell anyone much longer! Now, just sit tight there, and then it will be time to be disposed of!

Then while Ramona was busy filling out the documents and the ticket for me, and my things, not mentioning me but writing the ticket up as a load of miscellaneous black trash bags, Ramona had asked me to stay there inside of her gatehouse until she was finished writing everything up. I had arrived there wearing only my thick, bulky medium sized Attends disposable adult diaper with six or eight layered toddler sized cloth diapers inside, that stuck out slightly from the elastic waistbands and made my diapers look really thick and bulky and I had used a ton of baby powder. I was also wearing an old ragged and stained t-shirt.

                      

As I sat with my stuff outside, near the gatehouse, several large front end loader trash trucks came in to weigh on the scales prior to them driving off and being directed to their designated dumping pads by flaggers.

There was a short time when there were no trucks or vehicles coming to the landfill and Ramona decided to take a 15 minute break.

Ramona: Adam, come with me. (Said Ramona to me as she began to leave the gatehouse.) Didn’t you wear any shoes? Oh well, not to worry. You will be trash soon. So, is that diaper you’re wearing still dry or would you like to change it before your disposal?

Adam: Sure, where are we going? (I walk along side Ramona as she and I go for a short stroll at the landfill) Yes, I think that my diaper does need to be changed.

Ramona: Got everything that you want to be disposed of with? I see you’ve brought a lot of diapers with ya. Can I give the clean ones to some people I know that could use them? Those boxes of Huggies, the boxes of Pampers and the Boxes of Luvs and the bags of Parent’s Choice diapers you brought, how do they fit you?

                                                                                                             

                                                                  

Adam: I think so Miss Ramona. Well Ramona, I modify them to fit me so I can wear them under my adult diapers as extra absorbency. I call it; my two-tier fountain absorbency system. I can show you how I modify them when we get back to the gatehouse if there isn’t a lot of traffic. You can have one of each brand or two boxes of each brand. What is left over or that you don’t want or can’t take, can they stay here?

                                                                                                              

                                                                                                           

                                       

Ramona: I see. Ok, I will take a look before I have you bagged and taken over to the pit if there is time. How do your family members feel about you doing this?

Adam: Ramona, my family doesn’t have a choice. I am the one who gets to choose when, where and how I die and if I die before my time. I could care less how THEY feel about anything!

Ramona: I…see. Let’s go over here to the pit and I’ll show you how we are going to bury you.  

Adam: Sure. Why not. It might be interesting to know that. MAN! It stinks bad around here! (Shrugging my shoulders)

Ramona: See….that big landfill compactor and the grater over there behind those trash trucks? They are pushing everything down into that large hole over there as it comes out of each truck. It’s a lot like sweeping everything into one big dust pan made of dirt! That is where YOU and your….diapers and clothing will go. If there are any trucks that come in right before closing, the loads will be buried in there along with you.

Adam: Ramona? Will any of those graters or compactors push any dirt on top of me after I go in?

Ramona: Yes, the landfill compactors and graters WILL be mixing in layers of dirt as they go. You will get covered with other trash and layers of dirt. As soon as you sign the documents I will have ready and printed for you, I will have you bagged with your diapers and stuff, then I will tie the bag closed and then I will have one or two of our laborers take you over to the pit and have them toss you in.  

Adam: Do I…HAVE to be buried immediately?

Ramona: I’m afraid so! That is the company policy and how we do things at this landfill.

Adam: Will any of those landfill compactors and graters run over the bag I’m in?

Ramona: They might!

Adam: Can someone here change my diapers for me please? My diapers are soaking wet now.

Ramona: NO! No one here will change your diapers for you! If you feel the need to change, you can go into that port-o-let and change in there if you need to.

Adam: Can’t I just change somewhere out here? You know, just anywhere? Where would I put the diapers I change? Leave them in the port-o-let or bring them back and put them into one of the bags I brought? 

Ramona: I think you could go into the port-o-let if you like but I wouldn’t go and change out here on the ground for safety reasons. I would bring the soiled diapers with you when you leave the port-o-let and then toss the diapers into one of the bags you have. All of the men around here also think you should have been wearing some clothes when you arrived here. You know how men are.

Adam: What if I need to lay down because my back hurts? Where could I do that?

Ramona: I…don’t know really.

Adam: What will happen when it’s time for my disposal? How will my disposal go?

Ramona: First, I will have you step out onto the scale with all of your stuff, and then have you and everything weighed when no one is looking. Then, I will have to sign some documents and then I will have you and your diapers bagged up and the bag tied shut. Then we will have one of our laborers come with one of their trucks and they will load you and everything of yours into their pick-up truck. Then we will have them take you over to the pit and drop you into it. Then one of the landfill graters or the compactor will bury you and your diapers with trash and dirt.

Are you SURE you want to do this?

Adam: Yes, I am very sure! What if I wanted YOU to walk me over to the pit instead of bagging me? Can we do it that way?

Ramona: Well, that could cause the whole landfill to shut down. My operators are trained to spot certain things coming out of the back of those trucks. They would look at us kind of funny like; what are you doing? That is why I’d prefer to have you bagged.  Now, I have to get back to the gatehouse now, so you need to come with me.

I followed Ramona back to the gatehouse where she and I entered and she sat down with another person who was working in there while she was on break.

Adam: Ramona? Where can I sit?

Ramona: Um, you can sit right there in that corner over there where some of your stuff is and stay there for a while so I can work.

Ramona: (To her laborer, whispering into his ear) I need you to keep this quiet and a secret! Tell the others that they can never speak of this ever!

Laborer: I will tell them to keep this on the down-low!

Adam: Ok. I will sit in the corner and wait. One more question, how long will it be until I am disposed of?

Ramona: Ok, that’s fine. I don’t know. As soon as I can get your paperwork done and no one is around and looking.

As I sat there in the corner, I realized I still needed to change my diaper. I spoke up to Ramona to ask her if I could go change my diapers.

Adam: Um, Ramona? I’m sorry to disturb you, but, may I go change my diapers please?

Ramona: Yes, You may. The port-o-let is out there. (turning to one of her laborers)

Can you walk him out to get a change of diapers then to the port-o-let please? Then wait for him and then walk him back here, make sure he doesn’t leave…Thanks.

Laborer: Adam? Come with me. (The laborer and Adam walked outside and over to where Adam’s stuff was so he could find a change of diapers. Once Adam found his diaper bag, the both of them walked over to the port-o-let where Adam opened the door and got in. along the way, the laborer talked with Adam, and asked him a few questions.)

So, you came here hoping to be disposed of in the landfill like trash?

Adam: Yep! I called here and talked with Ramona a few times and asked what I would need to be taken as trash here. She told me that I needed a letter from the owner of the landfill. I called the owner after hunting down the corporate number for Waste Management and I was able to contact a miss Kim Gann. Miss Gann contacted The CEO and owner of Waste Management and he then sent me the letter giving me permission to be taken as trash as a walk-in or even being brought in a trash truck if I wanted to. They gave me specific details as to what dumpsters to get into and what routes go directly to this landfill. I choose to catch a ride from someone already coming here and be a walk-in.

Laborer: Why are you wearing diapers?

Adam: I have severe central and peripheral neurological damage that is causing my urological control problems.

Laborer A: (walking over to me and looking me over from head to toe) So, you sure look really nice and comfy in those thick diapers of yours!

Adam: thanks, my diapers usually are really thick and comfy but right now, THESE diapers are soaking wet and leaking!

I reached over to the top of my 97 gallon green trash tote and grabbed my diaper bag. Then the laborer and I walked over to the port-o-let where I opened the door and stepped in, closing and latching the door.

Laborer A: How long have you been wearing diapers? (As the laborer stood just outside)

Adam: Oh..(sounds of tapes being unfastened from plastic are heard) since I was 5 years old. When I was thirteen, my stepmother was told I wear diapers and she thought I had some kind of fetish so she took me to see several professionals who then found out that my need for diapers was real. I was then taken to two urologists who confirmed this.

Once my stepmother was told that I needed diapers, she and I went right out to the nearest store that same day and bought diapers. She even let me choose the brands I wanted. Once we got home, she took me into my bedroom and took my shorts off, and then took one of the diapers out of the package and put it on me. I walked around the house, the backyard and even took the separate can full of my wet diapers out wearing a diaper and a t-shirt each week.

Laborer A: Really? What year was this?

Adam: OH…it was around 1986 or 1987….

Laborer: Do you ever feel embarrassed about what others think about you wearing diapers or when you walk by and they know you are wearing a diaper?

Adam: HELL….NO! It doesn’t matter what others think! What they think….doesn’t even effect me because I don’t let it! Not that it effects who I am at all! No more than your boxers or tidy-whities do!

Laborer: GOOD….point!

(I finish inserting and layering the six layers of toddler cloth diapers and the six small infant sized cloth diapers –the toddler sized cloth diapers in the front and the small infant sized diapers in the back-, added lots and lots and lots of baby powder and then put the powder back into my diaper bag along with the wipes. Then I put the really thick, white, Attends Medium with waistband elastics on and then unlatched the door, grabbed my diaper bag, tucking it under my right arm and then I picked up the diaper I took off, which had six layered cloth diapers in it, the same as I had on, but now also had used Luvs baby wipes also tucked into the diaper which I held underneath the open diaper as I waddled out of the port-o-let. As the door slammed shut, the laborer look at the diaper I had in my hand then look at me and my thickly diapered butt.)

Laborer: Feel better? More…comfy now?

Adam: Yes….MUCH better! Now I have to go put this wet diaper into one of the bags I brought and then we can go back to the gatehouse. I want to bring my diaper bag with me just in case this takes too much longer.

The Laborer and I walk back over to where my things are and I open one of the tall, modified 100 gallon black trash bags that is full of my wet, and semi wet, as well as diapers that I have worn but never got used, and tossed my wet diapers into it then I sort of tucked the end flap over some before walking away, towards the gatehouse with the laborer escorting me. The laborer walks ahead of me and then opens the gatehouse door for me and hold it open while I climb the two or three steps to get inside before he follows me in, closing the door. I go back over to the corner and sit down with my diaper bag now to my right, next to me on the floor.

Laborer: Would like a bottle of water Adam?

Adam: um…sure. Thanks.

The Laborer goes to the little refrigerator and takes out two bottles of water and then comes over and hands one to me.

Adam: thank you.

Laborer: You’re very welcome.

Then the laborer walks back over to the desk and Ramona tells him something in almost a whisper and then he looks back at me in the corner and then he leaves the gatehouse.

Ramona: Ramona continues to fill out my paperwork and the ticket for me and my things. When she completes the paperwork, she prints it out and then gets all of the paperwork ready. Ramona then grabs her radio and calls for one of the laborers to come to the gatehouse)

Ramona: Jessie, can you please come to the gatehouse please? Thank you.

Jessie: 10-4, be right there.

Shortly, Jessie comes into the gatehouse and closes the door. He comes over to Ramona who motioned for him to lean in close so I couldn’t hear what she was telling him. Then Jessie rose up and then came over to me.

Jessie: Adam? Come you come outside with me for a minute please?

Adam: Am I in trouble?

Jessie: uh, no, not at all. I just need you to come…outside with me for a minute.

Adam: will I need my diaper bag?

Jessie: NO, you can leave that there with your other things….

I struggle to get up and then I follow the laborer outside. The laborer motions for me to follow him to where all of my things are.

Jessie: I need to look through everything you brought here to see if you brought any toxic household chemicals, paints or batteries. I also want to make sure you really, really, really want to do this…..

Adam: O…K…go ahead. There are nothing but my clothes, and diapers in there….and yes…I REALLY…DO want to do this!!! I am totally fine with this!

Jessie: Alright then….. (As Jessie does a quick check inside the green 97 gallon can and the 32 gallon cans. Then makes me sit on top of the 97 gallon can lid)

Then, Ramona called out over the radio to make sure that my stuff and I was put onto the scale.

Adam: Let GO of me! Why are you holding onto my arm like that?

Jessie let go of my arm once I was on the scale.  I stood on the scale as my things were placed on the scale next to me.

Jessie: (with a creepy smile on his face, as he grabbed me holding my forearm and forcefully guiding me over to and onto the scale.) I was told to bring you and all of your stuff over here to the scale. Ramona wanted me to get you and your stuff weighed. Please stand still while we get the weight…..

Then a few more laborers began to put all of my eight modified 96 gallon and 100 gallon trash bags full of my loose, unrolled disposable diapers onto the scale along with the four contractor trash bags full of my clothing onto the scale. Then Ramona came out of the gatehouse and started to put the full 97 gallon green Waste Management trash container full of my loose, clean and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers, eight 96 gallon bags and 100 gallon trash bags full of assorted unrolled wet and worn-but-not-wet disposable diapers, six boxes of unused #Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused #Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans full of my adult cloth diapers and four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing, onto the scale. While Ramona recorded the weight and printed it out, she gave the signal to go ahead and remove all of the items from the scale. The laborers began to slide the two 32 gallon trash cans over to the side and out of the way of the scale and possible traffic while the 97 gallon can was rolled over next to the two 32 gallon cans. The eight 96 gallon and 100 gallon bags were then moved over next to the green 97 gallon can and the two 32 gallon Rubbermaid cans. six boxes of unused Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, were moved and stacked next to the bags. Then Jessie told me to go stand over where everything was being stacked.

Adam: Why are we standing over here now?

Jessie: Waiting for Ramona……

Then as I stood there, looking around, watching the few giant landfill compacters, graters and front-load buckets moving trash into the pit from the backs of the remaining trash trucks and the drive-in customers off-loading stuff from their trailers and pick-ups, Ramona was busy writing up and filling out the paperwork. One of the laborers came over to me and started to ask me a bunch of questions.

Laborer A: (walking over to me and looking me over from head to toe) Why do you want to be taken as trash and buried here at the landfill? Why are you wearing diapers?

Adam: I want to avoid the whole funeral industry because they refuse to respect my wishes not to be cut open and my organs removed, weighed and put into some plastic bag and then shoved back into my chest. I also don’t want my fluids removed!

They told me that everyone has to see a coroner, that’s the law! I told them that I would find a work-around…they said that I wouldn’t…I should have bet them some serious money! I would have been rich right now! I am wearing diapers because I have to for medical reasons and since I am being disposed of, I figured that I’d come here wearing something that is going to get disposed of anyhow!

Laborer A: So, are they actually going to bury you here?

By the way, you look comfy in your diapers.

Adam: Thanks…. Um, yep! I…am already property of this landfill I think. My stuff and I have already been weighed.

Laborer A: I didn’t know that the landfill could take people! But…you’re still alive!

Adam: Yep….I am still alive…..

Just then, Ramona stepped out of the gatehouse with a bunch of printed paperwork forms and a “ticket” in her hand and she started coming over to me. I was kind of half leaning on the lid of my 97 gallon green trash tote with Jessie and one of the laborers as Ramona approached.

Ramona: (overhearing part of the conversation between me and the laborer) …but I am afraid not for too much longer! Adam? As soon as I sign this form, everything you have brought here today, including yourself, is now the property of the Colorado Springs landfill to do with as we wish, you and all of your things WILL be immediately bagged and disposed of.

Ramona: (to the laborers) Can you all leave us for a bit? I want to have a chat with him for a bit before we complete this…thanks!

As soon as the laborers leave and are out of view, Ramona begins to slowly unfasten the tapes of my diaper, one tape at a time until my diapers were unfastened. Ramona then pushed me down onto my back as she placed my diapers next to me on the ground behind the port-o-let, which was nearly 3 feet from where all of my stuff was. Then, she straddled me as she got me inside her.

Ramona: (To me as I lay on the ground) Doesn’t this feel….GOOD? I know that the way I am doing this is kind of trashy, so I wanted to give you one final gift before I have to dispose of you!

Adam: (With a shocked and heavily pleased look on his face) OH…YEEEES! OH…this…feels….incredible!!!!! Trashy or not, (shaking head) don’t stop…whatever happens!!!!!!! Oh…yes!!!!!

Ramona then bends down and starts to French kiss Adam as she and he are in the heavy throws of passion. Adam Kisses her back very passionately. Half an hour goes by and Adam climaxes as Ramona climaxes several times.

Then Ramona removes the love stick from within her and then slides Adam’s Disposable Attends with Waistband elastics with six layers of toddler cloth diapers and the six small infant sized cloth diapers –the toddler sized cloth diapers in the front and the small infant sized diapers in the back, underneath him and then pulls the front of Adam’s diapers up, and then fastens the three tapes on each side snuggly before helping Adam back up to his feet.

Ramona: (Walking Adam back towards the scale closer to where his stuff is acting as if she had been talking with him the entire time) Are you SURE you want to do this? There is NO going back once you are in the bag!

Adam: Absolutely! Once I am in the bag miss Ramona, I can’t be let out?

Ramona: Once you are in the bag, I will give you a fast-acting sleeping drug so that once you fall asleep, you won’t make a sound and then you will go in your sleep while you and being taken over to the pit in the bag.

Adam: (Taking a deep breath and then exhaling…) I guess I am already here and I already belong to the landfill! I’ve already been cataloged and weighed!

Ramona: (putting pen to paper…) OK last chance….OK…too late! You…are officially the property of the landfill!

As Ramona initialed, printed, signed and then dated the forms and then the ticket, the laborers gathered behind me as though getting ready to pounce on me.

Ramona finished dating the form and then she leaned back up. Ramona then tore out the bottom copy and then started to hand it to me then she tucked it back onto the clipboard for a bit while one of the laborers starting coming over to me after Ramona handed him a really, really big, new, black trash bag that he was unfolding and opening as he came towards me.

Ramona: it’s trash bag time!!!! Ready to be bagged?

Adam: But…But… I don’t wanna go into the bag yet! Do I….HAVE to be…bagged? I don’t wanna be buried right now! Can’t I wait a little longer?? NO!!! I don’t wanna get in that bag right now! NO! STOP IT! Let GO of me!

Ramona: I’m afraid so! I’m sorry Adam. You are trash now! You are now the property of the landfill, for us to do with as we wish! You ARE….going into this bag now whether you want to or not! You don’t have a choice now!!! You KNEW what you were getting into when you came here!  Now, once you are in the bag, I am going to get all of those diapers from the cans and then empty as many of the cloth diapers from that green 97 gallon can into this bag and from any of those other taller bags of disposable diapers until this bag is at capacity! Then if there is still room, I am going to empty the diapers from one of the 32 gallon cans in. Once the bag is full,  I will tie the bag shut! Ramona slips the bag under my feet and then pulls the bag up and around me with the opening still open at the top. Then she starts to empty cloth diapers from the 97 gallon green can full of my diapers, into the bag I am in, packing and really pressing the diapers down hard as she can with each handful!

Adam: Wait! What are you doing! Let go of me! DON’T!!!! STOP IT! Can’t I walk around a little more first? PLEASE????

Ramona then leaves to let the laborers fill the bag I’m in with some of my cloth and disposable diapers.

Ramona: This is going to be…your last look at the light of day little diapered piece of trash! I hope your diapers are all…nice and comfy because that will be the last one you’ll ever have to wear! (Turning to the other laborer) I never thought I’d say this…to someone at a landfill of all places!!! How ironic!

Adam: Ramona!!! Ra….M ONA!! It’s HOT and stinky in this bag! Why can’t I just be walked over to the pit and be tossed into it?

HEY! That is my…diaper bag! Where is it being taken????

Ramona: It’s trash! Would you rather it be put into your trash bag?

HEY! HEY! Bring that diaper bag over here! Put it into this trash bag!

My diaper bag gets tossed into the bag I am standing in.

Adam: What is going to happen to all of those unopened boxes and bags of my Pampers, Luvs, Huggies, and Parent’s Choice diapers?

Ramona: You don’t need to worry about what is going to happen to them so much as what is going to happen to you! Those boxes of diapers are trash as are the rest of them! They will be tossed into the pit when these guys take this bag you and your diapers are in, to the pit. Are you all nice and comfy in there yet? Once I tie this bag shut, the air inside won’t last that long and it will become really hard to breathe! With the amount of weight that will be on you and the diapers, it might even take a shorter amount of time to get hard to breathe! Did you get a chance to change your diaper before I tie the bag shut? Would you like a last drink of water or anything?

Adam: I WOULD like to drink a couple bottles of water first, if that is ok with you….yes, Ramona, I did get a chance to change my diapers. I feel a LOT more comfy now!

Ramona: Sure…I think we can allow you to do that….then I’m sorry but it will be time for disposal!

Ramona gets one of he laborers to get a couple of bottles of water. Then she opens one of the bottles, adds some fast-acting sleeping drugs to eh water, then hands it to me in the bag.

Adam: Can’t I finish drinking my water first? PLEASE tell me it’s not time for my disposal yet????

Ramona: You can drink your water while you wait until you are tossed into the pit, inside the bag. After you get the two bottles of water, I will allow you to drink one then I will have to tie the bag shut. 

Adam: Here, the empty bottle. 

Ramona: No, you can keep it in there with you. I have to tie the bag shut now….bye-bye sweetie!

Ramona then begins to take wads of the plastic sides and twists them enough so that she can tie the bag shut as tightly as possible. Ramona pulls the sides of the bag up some more so to get a little more plastic wadded up so she can tie the bag tightly! She then uses some kind of tape to hold the top of the bag closed.

Adam: HEY! Ramona! It’s hot in here!!! NO! STOP! I don’t wanna be disposed of yet!!! Can I get out for a bit please???? HEY! Put the bag down! Where are you taking me????

Ouch! What was that???? GEES! Careful! I am IN here!!!! The plastic is sticking to me in here! I am sweating hard!

Ramona: TOUGH! TOO BAD! It’s disposal time!!!! Time to go into the pit now…bye-bye!

Male voice from outside the bag: Will YOU shut the hell up? You are trash now! Anything you wanna say before we load you into the truck and take you to the pit?

Adam: I will miss you sunshine, water and air!!!!  Tell my adopted son, Evan William Lewis, that I am buried here!

Male voice from outside the bag: Will do. Ok one, two, and three!

Suddenly the bag I was in was lifted by two strong guys and it was tossed into the bed of a pickup truck. Then all eight of the 100 gallon bags of my diapers were then tossed in on top of the bag I was in! Then I could faintly hear the sounds of the boxes of my diapers being tossed in then a couple of the bags of Parent’s Choice diapers hitting the side of the bag I was in. Then I heard someone say: “Is it all in? ready? Then I heard the engine start and the truck go into gear. Then the truck began to drive, bouncing a little as it drove over the potholes and small holes in the dirt. Then I felt the truck turn around then stop. Then I heard it change gears. Then the truck started to back up slowly until it stopped and the engine was turned off. I faintly heard the sound of a door open and some footsteps coming closer. Then I faintly heard some male voices talking and then I could hear the sounds of the landfill compactors and the graters really nearby as they rumbled up closer and closer.

I then heard a far away male voice shouting: “Do you need a hand with that?”

Then I heard a male voice standing really close to the bag I was in say: “Yea…could you help us toss all of these bags in? The bottom one is REALLY heavy!”

Then I heard the sounds of someone getting into the bed next to the bag and then someone’s shoe kicked the side of the bag a little as the bags on top of the one I was in, were lifted out and tossed down into the pit, one by one. I could hear the men grunting as they heaved the bags into the pit. Then I felt the bag on top of me get lifted and tossed. Then, I could hear some sounds of heavy breathing, grunting and then some one said: “Ok, you get on that side, you, get on the bottom end, and then you get the top end and then we will all lift at the same time…ready? One…two….THREE!”

I could feel the bag I was in, being lifted up and the wobbling and giggling of the diapers all around me told me that the bag I was in, was just about to be tossed down into the pit!

Then, all of a sudden, it was like the bag I was in, started to fall then the bag I was in hit the ground and then started to tumble down what seemed like a long slope before it came to rest against something like one of the bags that was on top of me. Then I felt the boxes of my diapers suddenly fall onto the bag I was in and they came to rest near the bag. Then, I heard the sounds of one of the landfill compactors coming closer and closer.

All of a sudden, before I knew what was happening, it was as though an avalanche of trash suddenly cascaded and crashed down on top of the bag I was in and then the landfill compactor started to shove more and more trash on top of the bag I was in and layers of dirt as it pushed the trash deeper and deeper into the pit, covering it all forever.

Inside the bag, the weight was tremendous!!! It was getting colder and colder and harder and harder to breathe!!!! So, as I gasped for air, I figured that I should simply start to try to go to sleep and then I’d be gone before I knew it. It must have taken about two and a half hours before the sheer weight was too much for me. I stopped breathing and died right there with my mouth open, my eyes shut and my head falling to the side slightly.

Suddenly it was like I was suddenly back above the ground. I was still wearing the same diaper I came there in but as I began to walk over to where the gatehouse was and started to try to talk to Ramona, it was as though she couldn’t even hear me or if I wasn’t even there!

(Camera pans out from under the dirt, through the various layers of trash and continues to pan out until the continent of the whole USA is seen as though it were seen from space. The voice of the gatehouse worker; Ramona is heard narrating the end of the movie. Add Ramona’s audio comments and short wisdom quotes then fade to black and bring up theme music)

The End……

#RamonaMiles I hope you see, Read and thoroughly enjoy this and the other versions of this story (based on our ACTUAL phone Conversations.)is there anything you would have done or even said differently if this were an ACTUAL situation and you WERE allowed to take me as trash as a walk-in? Leave me a comment and a like to let me know you actually read and saw this...PLEASE RAMONA????