#The Landfill-The Trash Truck

#The Landfill-Version 1c-The trash truck

Based on actual conversations with a real gatehouse worker who works at the Colorado Springs Landfill owned and managed by Waste Management. A realistic and hypothetical account of how my actual disposal could actually go.

(FYI: Yes, some landfills WILL accept humans as trash/waste dead and not ambulatory. It is NOT…I repeat…NOT illegal!)

This is only one of a few possible methods that I would surely arrive at the landfill.

It was only 10:30 am that Tuesday morning when the small, green and white trash truck arrived at my home.

I arranged for a small trash truck to come and pick up my loads of diapers and clothing as well as myself. Once the trash men arrived at my home, they began to load all six boxes of unused Pampers size s

Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six,

 four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six

four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six,

four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages,

six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium,

                                             

four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large,

They empty all of the cloth diapers from the one green 97 gallon Waste Management trash tote, into a brand new 100 gallon-2mil thick black trash bag then they get me to step into the bag.

Trash man: Time for you…to get into the bag! Bagging time for YOU! You look good in those diapers of yours by the way! It’s TRASH time for the diapers and the diapered trash!

Adam: Um…Thanks! Do I…HAVE to go into a trash bag???? Can’t I just be tossed right into the truck like the rest of the trash?

Trash man: Yes, you could be, but, once we get to the landfill and dumped the load, they would see your body, alive or dead, and that would stop all operations and shut the landfill down! We can’t have that…now can we? In ya go!

Adam: MAN! That’s NOT fair!!!!

Trash man: You’re trash now! You belong to ME now! Know what I do with trash? I toss it into my truck…and I compact it! Bye-bye little diapered trash!!!! Have a nice ride to the landfill!!!!!

The trash man slides the new trash bag over and around me pulling it up around me from my feet up. Then they empty the rest of the cloth diapers from the  

two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans, full of my adult cloth diapers, into the bag I’m in. Then once the bag is full, one of the trash men ties the bag shut.

Trash man: Ok, it’s trash time!! Ready to go into the truck?

Then the trash men both tossed the bag I was in and tossed in the ten mixed 96 gallon and 100 gallon modified black trash bags full of disposable diapers,

   

    

four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing into the hopper of the small trash truck.

Trash man: It’s PACKER TIME!!!!!!!

Then the trash men started the trash compactor and cycled it a couple of times before the truck began to move. I could feel the pressure as the bag I was now in with all of my cloth diapers being pressed into all of the other bags and the packages and boxes of my diapers pressing against the bag as the compactor cycled. The truck drove for a short while before it stopped again. Then, as some more trash was tossed into the hopper the trash man leaned and said:

Trash man: Enjoying your ride in the trash? What was that? I can’t hear you being bagged up like that! Well, I have to run the packer now….here is more trash for ya!!!!

Then the compactor cycled again. All I could think about at this time was; “MAN! Not that compactor again!!!” then the truck drove again for a short while then again, it stopped. Some more trash was tossed in and then the truck drove again. The truck stopped again and a whole bunch of bags were tossed in and a couple of cans were empted into the hopper. The compactor cycled again. After about six more stops, and between 10 and 30 more loads of trash were loaded in and about four more cycles of the compactor, the cycles began to really press the trash into and against the bag I was in. the cloth diapers offered a little cushion but I was wedged tightly against my other bags of diapers and it was getting harder and harder to move and breathe. The truck then began to drive for a long while. I assumed that we were going to the landfill then. As We drove to the landfill, I could hear the wind blowing against the plastic bags and hear cars and trucks passing along the road. The truck entered the landfill and then we pulled across the scale and stopped. The trash truck driver began to talk to Ramona miles, who works at the gatehouse, as he turned over his paperwork and as she took the weight and issued a “ticket” which he signed and dated then the driver drove off of the scale and was directed over to an empty area by one of the flaggers. The truck turned around and then the beeping sound signaled that the truck was backing up. Once the truck stopped, the driver began to open the tailgate of the trash truck that was very, very full and since it was a small trash truck, it didn’t take much to fill up. Once the tailgate was open, the compactor blade began to push and shove all of the trash out of the truck. The bag I was in began to move and slide across the metal floor of the hopper as the compactor blade began to near the end of the truck, the bag I was in and the four others that were behind the one I was in, fell out, landing in a pile of trash on the ground behind the small truck. The truck pulled forward a little as the last of my bags fell out and landed near the one I was in. I could hear the loud sounds of a large diesel engine coming closer and closer. Then, suddenly, like an avalanche, cascading down onto the bag I was in, the landfill compactor began to push the load from another truck that had been next to the one I had fallen out of, against the load I was now in, into the pit, causing everything to roll, tumble and fall down into the pit. There were tons and tons of trash now covering the bag I was in and now a very heavy layer of dirt was now also mixed in with the trash bags and the bag I was in, was now mostly buried.

I was lucky to have lasted this long in the large, black plastic trash bag full of my clean and dirty cloth diapers. Before too long, I fell asleep from the lack of oxygen and soon passed away. More and more trash was layered on top of the loads of trash I was grouped with in the pit. I got a free burial and free transportation to the burial site. I was…buried alive as trash! I was now going to contribute, to the production of methane and other gases that would fuel the Waste Management trucks and even fuel some turbines that produce electric power for some homes, businesses, and government buildings.

The End……