The Landfill-Version 1

The Landfill-Version 1

The OFFICIAL Theme song of (The Landfill stories)
 Marilyn Manson: The Disposable People

Based on actual conversations with a real gatehouse worker who works at the Colorado Springs Landfill (Owned and operated by #WasteManagement.)
A preemptive, realistic and hypothetical account of how my actual disposal could actually go.

 I decided to write this story, featuring actual transcriptions of real telephone conversations with Miss Ramona Miles who works at the gatehouse at this landfill.

1010 Blaney Rd
Colorado Springs, CO(719) 683-2600

It was only 1:30 pm that Wednesday afternoon when I walked into the Colorado Springs landfill, I waited near the scale at the gatehouse with a full 97 gallon green Waste Management trash container full of my loose, clean and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers, eight 96 gallon bags and 100 gallon trash bags full of assorted unrolled wet and worn-but-not-wet disposable diapers, six boxes of unused Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans full of my adult cloth diapers and four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing. Ramona who works at the gatehouse at this landfill, came out to greet me.

Ramona: (slightly shocked at seeing that I was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a really thick and bulky, crinkly disposable diaper. She reaches out her hand to shake mine)

Hi there. I’m Ramona, and your name is Adam…right?

Adam: Yep, that’s me…

Ramona: Well, it’s nice to meet ya. So, what have we got here…OH…that’s right. You are here to be taken as trash and disposed of huh?

Adam: It’s really great to meet you as well. Yep, I came here to be disposed of. Today…is….THE day.

Ramona: Did you bring the permission documents and the certificate of ownership as well as all of the signed, dated and notarized waiver forms?

Adam: Yes, I sure did….here they are…..

Ramona: Let me take these from you and I will need some time to confirm and verify all of this before we can get started…ok? Why don’t you come in here for a short while and sit down while we wait.

Then while Ramona was busy confirming my written permission from the owner of the landfill; a David Steiner, Ramona had asked me to stay there inside of her gatehouse while she confirmed the written permission and the authentic certificate of ownership by email to David Steiner.

I had arrived there wearing only my thick, bulky medium sized Attends disposable adult diaper with six or eight layered toddler sized cloth diapers inside, that made my diapers look really thick and bulky and I had used a ton of baby powder. I was also wearing an old ragged and stained t-shirt.

                      

As I sat on a chair in the gatehouse, several large front end loader trash trucks came in to weigh on the scales prior to them driving off to their designated dumping pad.

There was a short time when there were no trucks or vehicles coming to the landfill and Ramona decided to take a 15 minute break.

Ramona: Adam, come with me. (Said Ramona to me as she began to leave the gatehouse.) Didn’t you wear any shoes? Oh well, not to worry. You will be trash as soon as I get a reply from the owner. So, is that diaper you’re wearing still dry or would you like to change it before your disposal?

Adam: Sure, where are we going? (I walk along side Ramona as she and I go for a short stroll at the landfill) No, the diaper I have on now is wet but I think I will be fine for now.

Ramona: Got everything that you want to be disposed of with? I see you’ve brought a lot of diapers with ya. Can I give the clean ones to some people I know that could use them? Those boxes of Huggies, the boxes of Pampers and the Boxes of Luvs and the bags of Parent’s Choice diapers you brought, how do they fit you?

 

                                                                                                             

                                                                  

Adam: I think so Miss Ramona. Well Ramona, I modify them to fit me so I can wear them under my adult diapers as extra absorbency. I call it; my two-tier fountain absorbency system. I can show you how I modify them when we get back to the gatehouse if there isn’t a lot of traffic. You can have one of each brand or two boxes of each brand. What is left over or that you don’t want or can’t take, can they stay here?

 

                                                                                                             

 

                                                                                                           

                                       

Ramona: I see. Ok, I will take a look before I have you bagged and taken over to the pit.

 How do your family members feel about you doing this?

Adam: Ramona, my family doesn’t have a choice. I am the one who gets to choose when, where and how I die and if I die before my time. I could care less how THEY feel about anything!

Ramona: I…see. Let’s go over here to the pit and I’ll show you how we are going to bury you. You’d like that wouldn’t you?

Adam: I…I…I don’t know. Sure. Why not. It might be interesting to know that. (Shrugging my shoulders)

Ramona: See….that big landfill compactor and the grater over there behind those trash trucks? They are pushing everything down into that large hole over there as it comes out of each truck. It’s a lot like sweeping everything into one big dust pan made of dirt! That is where YOU and your….diapers and clothing will go. If there are any trucks that come in right before closing, the loads will be buried in there along with you.

Adam: Ramona? Can I be put in there on top of everything or at least be the last thing put in for the night? Will any of those graters or compactors push any dirt on top of me after I go in?

Ramona: Yes, the landfill compactors and graters WILL be mixing in layers of dirt as they go. You will get covered with other trash and layers of dirt. As soon as you sign the documents I will have ready for you, I will have you bagged with your diapers and stuff, then I will tie the bag closed and then I will have one or two of our laborers take you over to the pit and have them toss you in.  

Adam: Do I…HAVE to be buried immediately?

Ramona: I’m afraid so!

Adam: Can someone here change my diapers for me please? My diapers are soaking wet now.

Ramona: NO! No one here will change your diapers for you! If you feel the need to change, you can go into that port-o-let and change in there if you need to.

Adam: Can’t I just change somewhere out here? You know, just anywhere? Where would I put the diapers I change? Leave them in the port-o-let or bring them back and put them into one of the bags I brought? 

Ramona: I think you could go into the port-o-let if you like but I wouldn’t go and change out here on the ground for safety reasons. I would bring the soiled diaper with you when you leave the port-o-let and then toss the diapers into one of the bags you have. All of the men around here also think you should have been wearing some clothes when you arrived here. You know how men are.

Adam: What if I need to lay down? Where could I do that?

Ramona: I…don’t know really. Maybe you could get into that green trash can you brought and lay down in inside, you know, laying across the diapers inside with your feet dangling until it is time to get you bagged and to the pit.

Adam: What will happen when it’s time for my disposal? How will my disposal go?

Ramona: First, I will have you step out onto the scale with all of your stuff, and then have you and everything weighed. Then, I will have you and your diapers bagged up and the bag tied shut. Then we will have one of our laborers come with one of their trucks and we will load you and everything of yours into it. Then we will have them take you over to the pit and drop you into it. Then one of the landfill graters or the compactor will bury you and your diapers with trash and dirt.

Adam: What if I wanted YOU to walk me over to the pit instead of bagging me? Can we do it that way?

Ramona: Well, that could cause the whole landfill to shut down. My compactor and grater operators are trained to spot certain things coming out of the back of those trucks. They would look at us kind of funny like; what are you doing? Hehehehe! That is why I’d prefer to have you bagged.  Now, I have to get back to the gatehouse now, so you need to come with me.

I followed Ramona back to the gatehouse where she and I entered and she sat down with another person who was working in there while she was on break.

Adam: Ramona? Where can I sit?

Ramona: Um, you can sit right there in that corner over there where some of your stuff is or, you can go out to your 97 gallon can and get in and stay there for a while so I can work.

Adam: I…think I am going to go out to my 97 gallon can.

Ramona: Ok, that’s fine.

Adam: How will I know it’s time to be disposed of?

Ramona: I will come and get you if you don’t see me before then.

(To the other person in the gatehouse) Can you walk him over to his 97 gallon trash can and see that he gets into it? Thanks.

Other gatehouse person: Ok Adam, Come with me. So, we are going to dispose of you huh?

Adam: I guess so.

Other gatehouse person: Why are you wearing those diapers? Are they dry? Comfortable?

Adam: Yes. They are comfortable and no, these diapers I am wearing are probably pretty wet by now. I have severe central and peripheral neurological damage that causes my urological control problems. My doctors have prescribed them to me so that my Medicaid will cover them for me for free and no, these diapers are almost soaking wet now and slightly leaking!

Other gatehouse person: (Stopping and opening the lid to my 97 gallon can and helping hold the can steady while I climb into it) Well, if I were you, I would not change it since you are just going to waste a clean diaper any way. Is there anything that you want, a bottle of water perhaps?

Adam: Sure, can I get two of them please?

Other gatehouse person: Sure. I will bring them to you in a few minutes.

I climb into the green 97 gallon can filled with my clean and formerly wet cloth diapers and then the other gatehouse person lowers the lid across my legs and then goes back to the gatehouse. A few minutes later, the other gatehouse person comes back with the two bottles of water.

Other gatehouse person: (opening the green can’s lid and handing me the two water bottles) here you go. It shouldn’t be too much longer now until it will be time for your disposal. Sit tight….someone will be back here to help you into a trash bag before you’ll be taken to the pit by our laborers.

Adam: Ok. Can I change my diapers while I am laying here?

Other gatehouse person: I don’t care! (The gatehouse person lowered the lid and then walked back to the gatehouse.)

 As I laid across the opening of the green 97 gallon can with my legs dangling over the left side and the lid resting on my body, I started to drink the bottles of water while considering changing myself or not because I was wet but I was about to be buried shortly and why would it matter? My diapers were only slightly uncomfortable as they were almost soaked and starting to leak.

It must have been around 2:15 or 2:30 by now, and as I lay in the 97 gallon green Waste Management trash can, I became sleepy. Strangely, I had fallen into a deep slumber, and lost track of time. I woke up to the feeling of shimmying and shaking and the faint sounds shaking, thumping and rumbling as well as people talking in the background. As I became fully aware of my surroundings, I realized that the can I was in was being moved. I wasn’t able to see where it was being taken because there was a bungee chord holding the lid closed. No wonder my legs had so much pressure on them!!!

Then the can stopped and was put back upright. Then the bungee chord was unhooked and the lid opened. One of the laborers came around to the front of the can and helped me out and down to the ground.

Landfill laborer B: (with a creepy smile on his face) Adam….right? I was told to bring you and this can over here to the scale. My boss wanted me to get you out and have you stand there on the scale.

Adam: O…K?

Then a few more laborers began to put all of my eight modified 96 gallon and 100 gallon trash bags full of my loose, unrolled disposable diapers onto the scale along with the four contractor trash bags full of my clothing onto the scale. Then Ramona came out of the gatehouse and started to put the full 97 gallon green Waste Management trash container full of my loose, clean and formerly wet cloth pre-fold diapers, eight 96 gallon bags and 100 gallon trash bags full of assorted unrolled wet and worn-but-not-wet disposable diapers, six boxes of unused Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, two Rubbermaid 32 gallon sized cans full of my adult cloth diapers and four contractor trash bags worth of my clothing, onto the scale. While Ramona recorded the weight and printed out the “ticket”, she gave the signal to go ahead and remove all of the items from the scale. The laborers began to slide the two 32 gallon trash cans over to the side and out of the way of the scale and possible traffic while the 97 gallon can was rolled over next to the two 32 gallon cans. The eight 96 gallon and 100 gallon bags were then moved over next to the green 97 gallon can and the two 32 gallon Rubbermaid cans. six boxes of unused Pampers size six, Six boxes of unused Huggies over-nite diapers in size six, four unused bags of Parent’s Choice diapers in size six, four boxes of unused Luvs diapers in size six, four cases of unused disposable bed pads still in their packages, six packages of unused Dignity Classic adult diapers in size medium, four long clear packages of confidence adult diapers in size large, were moved and stacked next to the bags. Then one of the laborers told me to go stand over there where everything was being stacked.

Then as I stood there, waiting, I began looking around, watching the few giant landfill compacters, graters and front-load buckets moving trash into the pit from the backs of the remaining trash trucks and the drive-in customers off-loading stuff from their trailers and pick-ups, Ramona was busy writing up and filling out the paperwork and the ticket. One of the laborers came over to me and started to ask me a bunch of questions.

Laborer A: (walking over to me and looking me over from head to toe) so, are you actually going to be buried here? Aren’t you uncomfortable in those soaking wet, leaking diapers?

Adam: Yea! Sort of. Um, yep! I…am already property of this landfill! Your boss in there, Ramona….is filling out the paperwork. My stuff and I have already been weighed.

Laborer A: I didn’t know that the landfill could take people! But…you’re alive still! Aren’t you going to change your diapers before you get disposed of?

Adam: Um, I don’t think I am. I think I am just going to stay in these wet diapers since them and I are trash now! If I changed these diapers, they would end up in the same place I would anyhow! What is the point? Yep….I am still alive…..

Just then, Ramona stepped out of the gatehouse with a bunch of printed paperwork forms and a ticket in her hand and she started coming over to me.

Ramona: (overhearing part of the conversation between me and the laborer) …but I am afraid not for too much longer…Adam, as soon as you sign this form, agreeing that everything you have brought here today, including yourself, is now the property of the Colorado Springs landfill to do with as we wish and that even after you sign this, you and all of your things WILL be immediately bagged and disposed of. You also need to initial here that there is nothing that you’ve brought me that is environmentally toxic like batteries, paint or toxic household chemicals to the best of your knowledge. Ok, initial here, here, and here, then print, sign and then date there.

As I initialed, printed, signed and then dated the forms, the laborers gathered behind me as though getting ready to pounce on me.

I finished dating the form and then I leaned back up and then handed the forms back to Ramona. Ramona then tore out the bottom copy and then started to hand it to me then she tucked it back onto the clipboard for a bit while the laborers began to empty out one of the tall, large, black 100 gallon bags containing my loose disposable diapers that was only half-way full, onto the ground. Once the bag was empty, two of the laborers held the open bag down and open while Ramona instructed them to get me into the bag then load all of the diapers back into the bag then take as many of the cloth diapers out of the green can and put them into the bag until the bag was full. She also told them to pack the diapers in well if they had to then tell her when it was full so that she could be the one to tie it shut.

Adam: But…But… I don’t wanna go into the bag yet! Do I….HAVE to be…bagged? I don’t wanna be buried right now! Can’t I wait a little longer please? NO! I don’t wanna get in that bag right now! NO! STOP IT! Let GO of me!

Ramona: I’m sorry Adam. You are trash now! You now belong to the landfill, for us to do with as we wish! You ARE going into that bag now whether you want to or not! You KNEW what you were getting into when you came here!  Guys, guys! Get him and hold him while I get this bag under and over him! Now, get all of those diapers on the ground into the bag and then empty as many of the cloth diapers from that green can into this bag until it’s at capacity and then call me when it’s time to tie the bag shut! Don’t let him out either!

Adam: Wait! What are you doing! Let go of me! Can’t I walk around a little more first? PLEASE????

Laborer A: This is going to be…your last look at the light of day little diapered piece of trash! Enjoy it while you can! (Turning to the other laborer) I never thought I’d say this…to someone at a landfill of all places!!! How ironic!

Laborer B: Stop talking trash to the trash and let’s hurry up and get this stinky piece of diapered trash and his diapers into this bag as quickly as we can so we can get it to the pit as fast as possible!!!!

Adam: GUYS!! GUYS!!! It’s HOT and stinky in this bag! Why can’t I just be walked over to the pit and be tossed into it?

The other gatehouse worker comes over to where the bag I am in is, with a clipboard in their hand;

Other gatehouse person: Adam, how tall are you?

Adam: 5’9 and a half….

Other gatehouse person: (commenting to himself out loud and taking looks at me then looking back at the clipboard) eyes are brown, hair is dark brown…..skin is medium complected, Adam, do you have any birth marks and or scars I should know about?

Adam: Yea! One on my lower back near the elastics of my diaper, my left shoulder has a scar, under my chin is a scar, I have a small scar on my inner right leg just below my right knee, …why?

Other gatehouse person: guys, let me take a look at that for a minute…in fact, I need to get a picture of that and any scars he has. Can you lower the bag a little please? Hold onto him while I get these pictures for me…good…thanks.

The other gatehouse worker uses their smartphone to take pictures of me, my diapered butt, my scars and birthmarks. Then they ask a few more questions before leaving and returning to the gatehouse.

Other gatehouse person: How old are you?

Adam: I am 42 and a half.

 Other gatehouse person: about how much do you weigh?

Adam: I weigh about 175 to 185…somewhere in there.

HEY! That is my…diaper bag! Where is it being taken????

Other gatehouse person: It’s trash! Would you rather it be put into your trash bag?

Adam: HEY! HEY! Bring that diaper bag over here! Put it into this trash bag!

My diaper bag gets tossed into the bag I am standing in.

Adam: What is going to happen to all of those unopened boxes and bags of my Pampers, Luvs, Huggies, and Parent’s Choice diapers?

Just then, Ramona comes out of the gatehouse to check on the progress of filling the bag.

Other gatehouse person: (To Ramona) Ramona? The diapered trash boy here, wants to know what is going to happen to all of those unopened boxes and bags of Pampers, Luvs, Huggies and Parent’s Choice diapers over there!

Ramona: (coming over to the opening of the almost full trash bag and peering down inside) Well there…diapered trash, you don’t need to worry about what is going to happen to them so much as what is going to happen to you! Those boxes of diapers are trash! They will be tossed into the pit when these guys take this bag you and your diapers are in, to the pit! (Turning to the two laborers) about how many more diapers will fit in here do you think? How many are left?

Laborer A: I’d have to say that there is about a quarter of the 97 gallon can left down in there….and we could maybe get half of what is left into the bag before it would need to be tied shut.

Ramona: Ok, so go bring as many as you can carry and put them into the bag and then we will see where we are. (Turning back to peer back into the bag) Are you all nice and comfy in there yet? Once I tie this bag shut, the air inside won’t last that long and it will become really hard to breathe! With the amount of weight that will be on you and the diapers, it might even take a shorter amount of time to get hard to breathe! Are you sure that you don’t want to change your diaper before I close the bag? Would you like a last drink of water or anything?

Adam: I WOULD like to drink a couple bottles of water first, if that is ok with you….

Ramona: Sure…I think we can allow you to do that….then unfortunately it will be time for disposal!

Adam: Can’t I finish drinking my water first? It’s not even 4:00 yet….is it?

Ramona: You can drink your water while you wait until you are tossed into the pit, inside the bag. After you get the two bottles of water, I will allow you to drink one then I will have to tie the bag shut. 

One of the laborers brings two water bottles over and hands them to Ramona. Ramona then opens one of the bottles, reaches down into the bag and hands them both to me one at a time. I begin to gulp the water down until the bottle is empty.

Adam: Here, the empty bottle. 

Ramona: No, you can keep it in there with you. I have to tie the bag shut now….bye-bye diapered trash!

Ramona then begins to take wads of the plastic sides and twists them enough so that she can tie the bag shut as tightly as possible. She then uses some kind of tape to hold the top of the bag closed.

Ramona: Ok guys, this one is ready to go!

Adam: HEY! Ramona! It’s hot in here!!! NO! STOP! I don’t wanna be disposed of yet!!! Can I get out for a bit please???? HEY! Put the bag down! Where are you taking me????

Ouch! What was that???? GEES! Careful! I am IN here!!!! The plastic is sticking to me in here! I am sweating hard! Can I at least get a diaper change before I am disposed of?

Male voice from outside the bag: Will YOU shut the hell up? You are trash now! Anything you wanna say before we load you into the truck and take you to the pit?

Adam: I love Landfills!!!! Tell my adopted son, Evan William Lewis, that I am buried here!

Male voice from outside the bag: Will do. Ok one, two, and three!

Suddenly the bag I was in was lifted by two strong guys and it was tossed into the bed of a pickup truck. Then all eight of the 100 gallon bags of my diapers were then tossed in on top of the bag I was in! Then I could faintly hear the sounds of the boxes of my diapers being tossed in then a couple of the bags of Parent’s Choice diapers hitting the side of the bag I was in. Then I heard someone say: “Is it all in? ready? Then I heard the engine start and the truck go into gear. Then the truck began to drive, bouncing a little as it drove over the potholes and small holes in the dirt. Then I felt the truck turn around then stop. Then I heard it change gears. Then the truck started to back up slowly until it stopped and the engine was turned off. I faintly heard the sound of a door open and some footsteps coming closer. Then I faintly heard some male voices talking and then I could hear the sounds of the landfill compactors and the graters really nearby as they rumbled up closer and closer.

I then heard a far away male voice shouting: “Do you need a hand with that?”

Then I heard a male voice standing really close to the bag I was in say: “Yea…could you help us toss all of these bags in? The bottom one is REALLY heavy!”

Then I heard the sounds of someone getting into the bed next to the bag and then someone’s shoe kicked the side of the bag a little as the bags on top of the one I was in, were lifted out and tossed down into the pit, one by one. I could hear the men grunting as they heaved the bags into the pit. Then I felt the bag on top of me get lifted and tossed. Then, I could hear some sounds of heavy breathing, grunting and then some one said: “Ok, you get on that side, you, get on the bottom end, and then you get the top end and then we will all lift at the same time…ready? One…two….THREE!”

I could feel the bag I was in, being lifted up and the wobbling and wiggling of the diapers all around me told me that the bag I was in, was just about to be tossed down into the pit!

Then, all of a sudden, it was like the bag I was in, started to fall then the bag I was in hit the ground and then started to tumble down what seemed like a long slope before it came to rest against something like one of the bags that was on top of me. Then I felt the boxes of my diapers suddenly fall onto the bag I was in and they came to rest near the bag. Then, I heard the sounds of one of the landfill compactors coming closer and closer.

All of a sudden, before I knew what was happening, it was as though an avalanche of trash suddenly cascaded and crashed down on top of the bag I was in and then the landfill compactor started to shove more and more trash on top of the bag I was in and layers of dirt as it pushed the trash deeper and deeper into the pit, covering it all forever.

Inside the bag, the weight was tremendous!!! It was getting colder and colder and harder and harder to breathe!!!! So, as I gasped for air, I figured that I should simply start to try to go to sleep and then I’d be gone before I knew it. It must have taken about two and a half hours before the sheer weight was too much for me. I stopped breathing and died right there with my mouth open, my eyes shut and my head falling to the side slightly.

Suddenly it was like I was suddenly back above the ground. I was still wearing the same diaper I came there in but as I began to walk over to where the gatehouse was and started to try to talk to Ramona, it was as though she couldn’t even hear me or if I wasn’t even there!

(Camera pans out from under the dirt, through the various layers of trash and continues to pan out until the continent of the whole USA is seen as though it were seen from space. The voice of the gatehouse worker; Ramona is heard narrating the end of the movie. Add Ramona’s audio comments and short wisdom quotes then fade to black and bring up theme music)

The End……